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My eyes slid to the sight of Brone and Theo standing in front of Torque’s body.He’s dead because of you. You wanted to bring cyborgs to life, but you got one killed instead. His blood is on your hands.
I fought down the rising sob, shoving my fist into my mouth to stay quiet, not wanting to reveal myself to the two grieving cyborgs. Slipping back out the door, I practically ran down the hall, my mind a mess.
I could think myself out of most things, but I didn’t know how to untangle the mess I’d caused. All I know was that I couldn’t stay. I had no place to go and I’d hurt people with my choice, but it’s what I had to do.
No one else will die because of me.
Brone
Light filtered through the trees, a slight breeze making the leaves rustle. The sound reminds me of home. The trees here are different, but they make the same music.
Torque would have liked this.If we couldn’t bury him near the rebellion, this place was a good alternative. It was familiar enough that I hoped it reminded him of home even if he would never get to see it.
All of the rebellion had gathered to honor Torque. We stood side by side, some of the females wrapped up in their cyborg’s arms, the soft sounds of Iris, Marley, and Poe crying mixed in with sounds of the forest.
Oz clung to Viper and every so often she angrily wiped a stray tear off her cheek.
Dax, Rust, and I stood beside one another. It was fitting. The three us had been the closest to Torque, spending many nights hanging out together. Rust, Torque, and I had shown up at Dax’s quarters one night, freaking out the Science Model so badly he slammed the door in our faces.
Eventually, after Torque had convinced him through the door that we wanted to be his friends and hang out with him because that is what friends did, Dax finally let us in. The four of us become fast friends, trading off every Friday as to whose quarters we hung out in.
Standing here without him felt wrong. I knew Rust and Dax were feeling it, too. All of us had been trying to be strong, but today was too much. The reality of watching them lower Torque into the ground burned the truth into our cores; that never again would we all spend Friday nights together. There would always be something missing, a Torque shaped hole that over time might grow smaller but would never completely heal.
Our frames trembled beside each other, the pain that I saw etched on their faces I knew had to be mirrored on mine. Dax had Poe pressed against the empty side of his frame, and I pushed down a small stab of envy. Having Nara beside me would not erase the pain I felt in this moment, but I think it would have made it a bit more bearable.
But Nara stood across from me, flanked by her cyborgs, a haunting mix of emotions playing across her face. Sadness, disbelief, and what looked like guilt fought a war for dominance over her features.
I wasn’t dumb. Nara had her secrets. Yet I still longed to have her next to me, to hold her hand as I put one of my best friends into the ground. Instead, I leaned a little closer to Rust and the red Medical Model bumped my shoulder with his. We all watched as Iris wiped her eyes before she walked towards where Torque had been laid, the sheet still wrapped around his frame.
Her hands trembled, shaking the small object she carried. Taking a breath, she kneeled, placing on hand on Torque. “I’m not good at this. And the truth is I am struggling to understand why you are no longer with us. It’s hard to think past a broken heart and right now, all of us are dealing with the broken pieces in our own way.” Tears streamed down her face as she untucked an edge of the sheet. “This is mine,” she whispered as she placed a purple bear Beanie Baby under the white fabric before gently re-tucking the fabric around his frame. “I didn’t get the chance to give you yours before I had to say goodbye, but I couldn’t let them bury you without it.” She choked back a sob, “And I didn’t want you to be alone.”
Dash made his way to Iris’s side, wrapping an arm around her waist as she buried her head into his chest, muffled sobs filling the air. “He won’t be now, my Iris,” the Service Model whispered as he lifted her into his arms, comforting his female the only way he knew how.
The sight of the Beanie Baby with my friend made my chest tighten. Looking around, I saw that I wasn’t the only one affected by Iris’s gift. Even Fuse looked at Iris like she had just given Torque something beyond words. It wasn’t the Beanie Baby itself, it was what it represented.
It was the way she had been the first to come to the rebellion and see us as unique beings that mattered. Up until Iris had started handing them out, not a single cyborg had ever been given a gift. They weren’t simply stuffed toys. All her love, all her affection for us, was wrapped up in those small, soft, cuddly stuffed animals, and every cyborg waited their turn for her to gift them theirs.
It was how she said I love you, and for our kind, who were told over and over that we didn’t matter, her ‘I love you’ was the first many of us ever received.
Reaper dashed stray dark spots of fluid off his cheeks as he moved to stand beside Torque. He opened his mouth to speak but when he looked down at our lost brother, his frame began to tremble.
I saw the exact moment the leader of the cyborg rebellion broke.
Reaper
I looked down, taking in the visual image of Torque, unmoving and lifeless. The Technology Model used to drive me crazy some days. He was always trying to prove himself to the point he would follow me around and demand that I take him instead of Viper.
I knew he thought he lived in Viper’s shadow. Viper had been the first model of his kind and had been given upgrades that kept his skills beyond the others of his model type. Torque always wanted to go on rescue missions with me, but I always kept him back.
It wasn’t that I thought he wasn’t as capable as Viper, I had wanted to protect him. Torque had been one of those cyborgs I had rescued. He had been kept as a display piece for some sick human male who wanted a whole set of cyborgs, one each of the different model types. Intel had led us to intercept his purchase of Fuse and once we had the location, I had raided it, finding Torque and Hester.
The way I found them still haunts me. I thought that by bringing Torque along, I would be subjecting him to revisit his own trauma. Underneath the need to prove himself was a brave but soft heart.
I thought I had been doing the right thing. But when the Global Allegiance attacked, he was the first to run right into danger. Maybe he saw it as his chance. Or maybe he simply thought he was without a female or family, and he viewed himself as a more expendable choice.
If I had been without Aria and Theo, I would have probably thought the same thing.
Butnone of my cyborgs are expendable.Each one matters to the rebellion…and tome.
