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God, just her voice and the look in her eyes had his insides clenching. He pulled back, then bent and kissed the tip of her nose, something he’d never imagined doing before meeting her. It was her innocent spirit, her awe that she could find happiness with the simplest of pleasures, and, of course, the fact that her nose tipped up just the tiniest bit that had him kissing it that first time when they’d first begun dating. Her eyes had gone wide but it was her flush and delighted giggle that had stolen his heart. Now, with her in his arms, he placed his palm against her cheek and pressed his lips to hers. It was probably the gentlest kiss he’d ever given her and yet it was also one that held the deepest meaning. The touch of her lips against his had his heart unfreezing, the cracks beginning to knit back together.
It would be so easy to let this be the only part of their journey… the sweetness, the gentle touches, the sharing of nothing but words of love. It was so tempting to simply forgive her, to pick up where they’d left off, but he couldn’t. She’d been soft and beautiful that day as well. The day she’d run. What he had to do now was determine what had happened to cause her to change her mind. So no, he couldn’t take the easy path. The very fact that she’d spoken those words, “I came to face the truth,” told him that doing so wouldn’t heal her. Yes, they’d return to this and never take for granted how special it was, but first, they needed to clear the slate, wipe it clean so that she felt she’d received the discipline she’d earned. Without making her atonement, he knew she’d never find the forgiveness she so desperately needed.
Liam carried her to the island, setting her on one of the tall stools. As she settled, he moved around the island and reached for a mug he’d placed on the counter. Lifting the teakettle off the burner, he poured the hot water over the teabag, adding a generous stream of honey. His girl had a bit of a sweet tooth. After pouring a dollop of cream into it, he placed it in front of her.
“You remembered,” she said, wrapping her hands around the mug.
“I remember a great deal,” Liam said, watching a flush creep up her neck. He knew the color would settle in her cheeks. She’d always been quick to blush, something he had always adored.
Nodding, she lifted the mug to her lips, closing her eyes briefly and inhaling deeply before taking the first sip. Just like her blush, he loved the sound of her purr of satisfaction. It was the same she’d give when she was sated after they made love. His cock twitched behind his zipper. He couldn’t wait to make her purr again, and again and again. Pouring his coffee, adding nothing to dilute what he considered the perfection of the freshly ground beans, he drank her in with every sip he took.
“Where did you go, Elena? Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?”
“I went back home… well, for a few days, but I had to leave. An old friend helped me find a temp job and let me stay in her garage apartment.”
Liam was a bit surprised to learn she’d gone home, but not that she hadn’t stayed. Elena had told him little about her family, but enough that he knew her relationship with her parents had been nothing but a hardship for her for as long as she could remember. As a freelance accountant, she also had the ability to pick up and go whenever she desired. She was very good at her job and her services were often in demand by various companies. Hell, that’s how he’d met her. She’d come to work for him and Sean to establish a better accounting system for their firm. Their attraction had been immediate. Within six months, they’d gotten more serious about their relationship, moving from dating to a dom/submissive one and beginning to discuss a dynamic he’d felt in his gut that she craved. He’d proposed and had been so certain that they would have an incredible life together… then she’d disappeared.
The silence stretched for a few minutes before she set her cup down, her fingers sliding up and down the porcelain. “Liam, I do want to say I’m sorry.” She paused as if expecting him to remind her that a phone call would have allowed that. When he only nodded, she took a deep breath. “And, I-I wanted to explain.”
This was what he’d wanted… what he’d asked himself the moment the taillights of her car had disappeared, what he’d wondered every single day since that one. Prepared to take the blame, to accept the responsibility of his failing her, he nodded again.
“When we met, I had no idea that anyone like you existed. Yes, there are thousands of good-looking men, men who are self-assured and successful. Men who can have any woman they wish, but I never imagined I’d be that woman. From the moment we met I felt a sense of wonder, of awe. With every date, every moment, you pulled me deeper into a dream. I’d never known anyone who paid… well, attention to everything. Like the shampoo and soap.” She paused, lifting her mug. “And this. You had my favorite tea ready. You have always been conscious of every detail and my every reaction. You knew me better than I knew myself, and that scared me.”
“Why?”
“As our relationship deepened and you became my dom, when you began to guide me, to teach me about submission… to love me, I felt that for the first time in my life, I was actually coming alive—not just existing—living, feeling. When you proposed, I was so happy. So incredibly honored you’d chosen me.”
“Then why? Why did you leave me, Elena? What did I do—”
“It… none of it was you, Liam. God, you were never guilty of anything other than loving me. I was just so… so fucking stupid.”
“Are you that anxious to change positions on that stool?” he asked, no longer able to remain silent.
“What?”
“You heard me, Elena. The rules haven’t changed. You aren’t allowed to curse and definitely not to put yourself down.”
She squirmed a bit but nodded. “God, I’m not saying this right.”
“Take your time,” he said.
He watched as she began to turn the ring around and around on her finger. The fact that it moved so easily told him she’d lost weight she couldn’t afford to lose and yet, he didn’t speak. It was obvious she was struggling and he’d sworn to himself he’d listen, no matter how much the words hurt to hear.
“The very first time you brought me here, I could see it in your eyes. Here, within the walls you’d helped build, you were at home. This place is special to you. It was here that you showed me it was all right to be free… to give, to submit, to love without restraint. Do you remember the party we held to celebrate our engagement?”
Liam knew he wasn’t likely to ever forget that day. He’d finally convinced the woman he loved with his entire soul to marry him. Though he’d already begun making plans to renovate the cabin, he’d decided to have a last party. “Yes, I do,” he said. “It was an incredibly special day for me. You were to become my wife and, on that day, we did our first scene as Daddy and little.”
She nodded. “Right. When you first began to speak about changing our dynamic… I didn’t… I was…”
“If we were moving too fast, if you felt I was pushing you toward something you weren’t ready for, didn’t truly wish—”
“Oh, no, it wasn’t that. The first time you said the words ‘Daddy’ and ‘little one,’ it was like you’d looked deep into my soul and seen what I’d never allowed to come out into the daylight. When we did that scene, the day of the party, I was so nervous because others were watching, but you made it incredible. I knew that you’d keep me safe even when you spanked me over your desk. You made it perfect for me.”
He wasn’t feeling enlightened in the least. “Elena, I don’t understand. If you felt that way, if you loved me, loved the fact that we were moving into a new lifestyle, why did you leave?”
“Let me finish,” she said, her voice rising for the first time. Sliding off the stool, she began to pace. “After we finished, do you remember everyone clapped and congratulated us? Wished us the best in our new life together?”
“Yes.”
