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“I don’t care,” I said, not releasing position. “It’s still Friday somewhere, and I’m not moving until I can crawl over your lap.” When he didn’t speak, I continued. “I know you’re furious; I know I caused all this, but I’m hoping that you meant what you said.”
“What I said?”
“Yes. You said that you were committed to us. You said you were dedicated to our new start and that included maintenance nights. Well, sir, I need to know if you still are or if I’ve gone too far for you to forgive me.”
“Honey, I’m not mad at you… not really. I’m not going to lie and say I wasn’t, but I’m not anymore. You scared the shit out of me when I didn’t know where you were. When I saw that bastard put a knife to your neck, my heart stopped. If he’d hurt you, I’d have killed him. God, I love you and could have lost you. Don’t you realize that I wouldn’t want to live without you?”
I felt tears welling again but blinked them away. Lifting my head in order to look up at him, I said, “But you didn’t lose me, so I need you to prove it.”
“Prove it?”
“Yes, prove that you love me. Prove that you forgive me. Prove it to me, Daddy.”
The moment the address was said, his expression changed. Hesitancy slipped from his eyes to be replaced by a look so loving that I began to tremble. He stepped forward and enveloped me in his arms, pulling me into him so tight that I could barely breathe but I didn’t care. When he released me, I knew that we would be okay.
Taking my hand, he led me to the couch and I instantly stepped between his legs when he spread them.
“Tell me why instead of the gentle spanking you’d have received tonight, I’m going to turn your ass crimson.”
His words didn’t scare me. I knew that no matter how crimson or how much my ass burned when it was done, that he’d never truly harm me. “I left home without asking or telling you where I was going.”
“Why?”
This was the hard part, admitting that I’d thrown a tantrum. “I was disappointed you weren’t coming home, and then the pizza guy said he’d delivered a bunch of pizzas to you. I-I heard someone say they had the cards and the guys were waiting to kick your ass.”
“So, you assumed that meant that you weren’t important, that instead of taking my beautiful wife on a date, I ditched you for a poker game?”
I was surprised that he was using the same words I’d used earlier but when I thought about who I’d said those words to, I knew there was no way he’d know that’s what I’d said unless… “You talked to Stephanie.”
“I did. And while I’d normally be adding swats to your spanking for forgetting your phone, I’m going to forego those extras because that is the only way I found you. Have you ever met Gary?”
I shook my head.
“Well, you did tonight. He’s the guy who came with me to find you.”
“Thank you—”
He chuckled and shook his head even as he interrupted me. “Don’t thank me, babygirl. Daddy is still going to blister your ass. When was the last time I ever played poker?”
“Um… I-I don’t know.”
“That’s right, because I don’t. I’ve seen too many men lose their paychecks in a game.”
“I… I just thought. I mean, someone did say ‘cards’ and well, my father used to play all the time.”
“I’m not your father, Hannah. The cards you heard referred to weren’t those of a regular deck. They have the faces and information about the terrorists who were responsible for the attack on our soldiers over in Libya. The men were ready to kick some ass because we lost two men today. They were both from Carter’s team.”
“Oh… oh, God,” I said, my heart instantly aching for the wives… the families of the men.
“Yeah, it was bad. Something went wrong and we had to scramble to keep it from getting worse.”
I felt awful. I’d jumped to the wrong conclusion, hadn’t trusted this man who I now knew had needed me at home. He’d needed me to wrap my arms around him, to hold him, to grieve with him. And what had I done instead? I’d dressed up and went to ‘party’. And worse, I’d drawn Stephanie and her husband into this when I now knew that he was also grieving.
“I-I’m so sorry. God, I-I don’t know how to tell you…”
As if knowing I had no words, he reached out and took my arm, guiding me to his side. He sat back on the couch, his legs drawing together before he pulled me down. Unlike last week, my head wasn’t hanging down, my toes weren’t scrabbling to touch the floor. My entire body was supported.
“This isn’t going to be easy, baby. I’m hoping that by the time I’m done, you’ll know that there is never a time when you can’t trust me. Never a day when you need to wonder if you are important to me. Never have to ask me to prove how committed I am to you, to us. You are the most important thing in my life. And though I’m going to spank you soundly, I want you to know that I will never stop loving you.”
