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Lucy sat quietly wondering at her sister’s words. Did Charles love her? He had confessed to being attracted to her, yet did that mean he loved her? She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know, Louisa, I… I have nothing to offer him.”
“Of course you do, silly,” Louisa said rolling her eyes and giving a giggle. “You have yourself. He could do no better than to take you as his bride,” Louisa assured her.
Lucy found herself uncomfortable with the thought of marriage. She still wondered if she was more like her sister than she wanted to admit. She picked up a flower from her lap and rolled the stem between her fingers as she gathered her courage. “Louisa,” she said quietly. Louisa lifted her eyes and tilted her head as if knowing her sister was about to speak of something that concerned her on a deeper level.
“Do you… do you ever feel bad about… well, about your life? I mean… I’m not sure I could ever marry a man who is so strict.”
If Louisa was surprised at the question, she didn’t show it. In fact, she nodded, dropping the chain to her lap pulling her legs up and wrapping her arms around them. Placing her chin on her knees, she sighed. “I’ve been waiting for you to ask me,” she admitted. “Part of me wishes I could simply tell you it’s none of your business, or… or make up some story that would satisfy you, but I never have lied to you.”
“You weren’t exactly truthful when I first arrived at Wintercrest,” Lucy said.
Louisa nodded and had the grace to flush. “But I didn’t flat out lie.” The girls were silent for a moment before Louisa continued, “Did you ever stop to think that perhaps I was scared a bit too?”
Lucy was about to shake her head when the truth hit her. Of course Louisa had to have been scared. Even if she’d never actually admitted to the fact, Lucy had seen her blushing, had watched her lip tremble when being witnessed in her childish dresses or the day she’d been discovered wearing an actual nappy. Suddenly feeling a bit ashamed of herself, Lucy nodded. “I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable. I-I just never expected to find you…”
“Dressed like a little girl?” Louisa provided. It was Lucy’s turn to flush as Louisa continued, “Lucy, I am happy. I love Edward and he loves me. I know it is hard to understand.” Shrugging her shoulders, she admitted, “I don’t even admit to understanding everything. This is a lifestyle I never knew existed. I can’t say that I enjoy being spanked so often, but I’ve learned that Papa only punishes me when I’ve been naughty. It’s really not that different from when our father disciplined us. The rest was hard at first and I… I was scared that you would no longer love me when you discovered that I am treated more as Papa’s child bride than his wife.”
Lucy felt her sister’s pain and sat forward and threw her arms around her twin. “Oh, Louisa,” she said, “Don’t ever think that. You are my sister, my twin… we are part of each other. I will always love you.” Louisa hugged her sister hard and the girls sat back again.
“Thank you. I love you so much,” Louisa said, handing her sister another flower. “I know we just admitted that clothing shouldn’t matter, but I can’t honestly say it didn’t bother me when I first was put into little girl dresses. There are times when I see a woman dressed in some elegant gown and I feel envious. And, it was really hard being made to take a nap every day in my nursery,” she said. Lucy’s eyes immediately widened.
“Nursery?” she asked. “Edward calls his room a nursery?”
Louisa’s face flooded with color and she looked around the interior of their little world but didn’t meet Lucy’s eyes.
“Louisa? I’m not going to judge you, remember?” Lucy declared, hoping she would remember that promise.
“No, Edward’s room is his though I share it most nights. But… yes, Lucy,” she said quietly. “I… I have my own room at the top of the house. Papa made it for me. It’s an actual nursery where I take my naps every day.”
Lucy thought about her sister’s words and discovered she wasn’t all that shocked or perhaps she had suspected something like this. She remembered hearing the occasional sound above her head when she was in her room. She had asked Molly, but now understood the girl had most likely not been free to tell her of the existence of the room. She was aware of her sister’s hesitancy in admitting yet another secret.
“Is it pretty?” Lucy asked.
Louisa lifted her face and gave a soft smile. She nodded her head. “Yes, it is very pretty,” she said. “Our old toys are on shelves. Remember our dolls?” she asked. Lucy nodded her head and Louisa smiled. “They are in my room. I… I will let you have yours if you want.”
Lucy started to shake her head, but then smiled, remembering how many hours the girls had spent playing with the twin dolls. “I’d like that,” she said. Louisa reached out to hug her sister, hard. The girls clung to each other, finally acknowledging that though their lives were different now, they were still bound to each other and always would be. They spoke of other things and then heard their names being called. They quickly added the last flower to their chains, and again as one, each draped their chain over the other’s head. By the time they met Mrs. Bremmer, who was waiting further up the path, their hands were swinging between them, smiles making their beautiful faces shine.
“It’s time for tea, little ones,” Anna said, and smiled brightly when they each released each other’s hand and reached for her own. “Did you enjoy your outing?” she asked.
“Very much, thank you,” Lucy said with sincerity. She had far more questions to be answered, but the time spent with Louisa had finally managed to assuage her need for assurance that her sister was truly happy.
“I’m glad you’ve both been such good little ones lately that you’ve not only earned the playtime, but can enjoy it without having a red bottom,” Mrs. Bremmer said as if such things were part of normal conversations between servants and mistresses on every estate.
“Yes, ma’am,” Louisa said, sparing Lucy having to answer.
Chapter 6
Later that evening, when Edward went to bed, he was surprised to find his wife awake. She was usually already deep asleep by the time he joined her.
“Are you feeling well, little one?” he asked, as he laid the palm of his hand against her forehead. Louisa nodded.
“I’m fine, Papa,” she assured him. “I… I just wanted to talk to you.” Edward smiled, wondering if every evening would find him having heartfelt discussions with one of the girls. He undressed and slipped into bed beside his wife. Before he drew her to him, he reached up and unbuckled the cuffs restraining her wrists. She smiled and was soon lying close to him, her head on his chest. Edward stroked his fingers through her long hair, playing with a golden curl while waiting for her to speak.
“I think I made a mistake today, Papa,” she confessed. Edward was a bit taken aback. It was a very rare occurrence for his little lady to be naughty and not be caught. Mrs. Bremmer seemed to have an uncanny ability in ascertaining any misbehavior, and usually tended to the miscreant before he even arrived home. His housekeeper had reported that both girls had been very well behaved all day. Hearing his wife confessing a mistake was a surprise.
“Tell me, little one,” he said.
“Lucy and I were talking today and I mentioned my room,” she said softly.
