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“Don’t get me wrong,” Antonius said. “I loved Dalia with all my heart. But long before I met her, I was swept off my feet by the most beautiful, bewitching woman I’d ever seen. We had a passionate affair. But she could not be mine. She was pledged to serve the Goddess.”
I followed his glance to the empty throne on the dais. Dear heaven, he was talking about the oracle!
“Dalia knew about her. I told her everything before we married. I told her I was marrying her with my lover’s blessing. I’d cherish her and share my life with her. When we were together, she’d have my love and attention. But from time to time I would go away to be with my other love. She agreed to accept me as her mate under those terms and I did my best to make her happy every moment we were together
Before I could think of anything to say, he went on.
“After a few years had gone by, Dalia surprised me and asked if she could accompany me the next time I went to visit my lover. My mate was always agreeable, and she seldom asked for anything. I couldn’t bear to deny her request, so although I was apprehensive, I agreed to take her along.” He paused. “I saw a new side of Dalia that weekend – a wild, passionate woman capable of wickedly naughty behavior I’d never have imagined from her. It added a new dimension to our life…and to our lovemaking when we were alone together.”
I had no problem believing the oracle capable of such acts. But my straight-laced old vizier bedding two women at once? Grandmotherly Dalia behaving like a wanton wench? Antonius saw the look on my face and laughed.
“I know. It’s hard to imagine this old man standing before you as a young stud. After that, she joined us many times. She and the oracle grew close. Over the years, they developed a bond stronger than that of friends or even sisters. The oracle shared my grief when Dalia passed on.”
He fixed those dark eyes on me. “Magnus and the Dragon Lord – you’re bedding them both.”
Thank heavens it wasn’t a question, so I didn’t need to reply. I was too embarrassed to admit the truth. And it would have been fruitless to lie to Antonius. He could always see right through me.
“I told you my secret because I want you to know it’s all right,” he said. “Ever since your father died, I’ve tried to offer you the kind of guidance he would have, but in this case, I think I’m better suited to give you advice than he’d have been. King Vidos was a good man, Melisandre, but he’d never have understood your feelings. He loved your mother until the day he died. No woman could ever take her place.”
“I know,” I replied, swiping away a tear. “Papa was true to his mate, even after she passed on.”
Antonius smiled. “Though I’m sure he’d have used less graphic terms, if he were here your father would tell you fucking selfishly, taking your own gratification without regard for the feelings of another, is wrong. But he’d also have said there’s no sin in fucking for pleasure, as long as no one gets hurt.
“As a young man, I thought I knew all there was to know about life,” he went on. “But the women in my life taught me two important lessons. First, you can love more than one person at a time, honoring and cherishing each for what he or she brings to your life. Second, there is no sin where there is love. Guilt is a wasted emotion. Make your choices in life and then own your actions.” He paused, his eyes twinkling. “No act is wicked in the eyes of the Goddess if all the parties involved enjoy it.
“Remember this, Melisandre. You may be the queen, with all the responsibilities that come with your crown, but just like every other person in the kingdom, you get to decide what you want out of life. Drayke and Magnus, your warriors – the Goddess sent them into your life. You need them. And you can love them both…at the same time.”
Chapter Fourteen
Magnus
I’d hoped for more time. Time to teach her how to fight – and how to defend herself, though as long as there was breath in my body she would not have to. I didn’t need the old man’s threats. I’d lay down my life to keep Meli from harm.
Not only time to prepare her for the battle to come. I’d hoped for time to take my queen in my arms and explore these new feelings. For the first time in my life, I wanted more than a hard, fast fuck with a woman. I wanted to hold her afterward and whisper words of love.
But as the oracle reminded me, the gods are fickle bastards. So when Meli came back to the fortress after saying goodbye to Antonius, I pulled her aside.
“Take this. Keep it with you at all times.”
She stared at the image painted on the sheath of the dagger I pressed into her hands. A female warrior standing fierce and proud, her golden hair flowing loose around her, naked save for a floor-length purple cloak tossed over her shoulders and an animal skull tied around her hips with a leather thong. Bleached white with age, the skull hung down between her thighs to cover her most intimate parts.
“Magnus, this is beautiful! I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“I had it made for you.”
She gave me a quizzical look. “Made for me? When? We met just a few days ago, and you haven’t been away from the fortress.”
“I’ve known you for years. The oracle showed me visions of you from the time my training began.” I pulled the dagger from its sheath to show her the same image painted on its handle then ran my finger across the razor-sharp blade. “It’s you, my lady. This is how I’ve always pictured you. Not as a queen on her throne dressed in royal robes, but as a fierce warrior.”
No need to let her see how frightened I was for her with the dangers she’d be facing. I mustered up a leer. “Except for the skull, of course. In my visions, you were always completely naked.”
I was rewarded with a grin. “I saw you in a vision, too. But you weren’t naked – though I wished you had been!”
Something was different about her. In the past, she’d never been comfortable enough to take part in the sexual banter Drayke and I indulged in. When she threw her arms around me and gave me a fervent kiss, I raised an eyebrow. Definitely different.
“That was to say thank you,” she replied to my unspoken question. “This is a beautiful gift. I will always treasure it.”
“It’s not meant to sit on a shelf. A dagger is a weapon. I want you to keep it with you at all times. Practice pulling it from the sheath over and over until the move becomes instinctive.”
