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“I never take off time for work—not even on Christmas. But I felt obligated because you got hurt in my house. I’ve even postponed important meetings and blown off a shit ton of paperwork because…”
“Because what?”Say you care. Say you want me anyway. Say you might be scared, but some things in life are worth the risk.
Say anything but nothing.
He stands, staring at me with an expression similar to the ones he has during boring presentations. I’ve never felt so insignificant—not even when Lance left me. I truly thought Rowan and I had something special. The forever kind of connection I have been hoping for all my life.
I was so wrong.
I let out a bitter laugh. “I don’t know what’s more pathetic—the fact that you deny how much you care about me or the way I’m actually surprised by all of this.”
Nothing but beeping machines fill the silence between us, matching the rapid beat of my heart.
I shake my head. “The problem isn’t work. And it’s definitely not us changing from casual to more, which is your own damn fault when you kept doing things that showed you cared. You made me believe in some fantasy. You made me wantmore.”
His blank stare sends another chill down my spine. “I always meant to keep things casual. That’s what we agreed on.”
“Well, you did a really shitty job at that. You didn’t have toplaythe role of a dutiful boyfriend because you were already acting like one!”
He takes a step back at my outburst.
Breathing hurts, but I don’t care. “Every decision you’ve made up until this point has all been because youcare. Because deep down, I think you love me even though you’re too damn scared to admit it.” My voice cracks and I let out a wheeze because my lungs struggle to cooperate.
“Love was never an option. If I made you believe otherwise, I apologize. I would never subject you to that kind of misbelief when I’m moving back to Chicago soon.”
He might as well have slapped me.
“What?”
He stares out the stupid window again. “A new Director will be taking over Dreamland at the end of January.”
If I wasn’t attached to an oxygen machine, I’m not sure I would be able to breathe on my own. “Did you—” I rasp. “Did you know this the entire time we were together?”
No. He couldn’t have.I’m sure he would have said something about it. What about his anniversary renovation plan? I don’t understand why he would spend months of his time on a project of that scale for nothing.
“Yes.”
“Did you consider staying longer…”for us?
Rowan breaks my heart all over again when he shakes his head. “I was always meant to go back.”
You’re a fool, Zahra. He’s been hiding this all from you since day one.I sniffle, trying to hold back the tears threatening to burst.
“That’s not what I asked, and you know it. Stop playing your mind games and tell me the truth.”
His jaw ticks. “My personal feelings on the matter are irrelevant.”
I stare down at my trembling hands. “Why are you moving back?”Why are you giving up on us because you’re scared?
“My future is in Chicago.”
My heart feels like Rowan clutched onto it with his cold fist and ripped it out of my chest. “So you say.” My voice cracks.
God. How could I have let myself fall for Rowan despite knowing deep down the kind of man he was?
The muscles in his jaw become more pronounced. “I regret hurting you. This was all a mistake.”
A mistake.I think a knife to the heart would be less cruel than this conversation. I’m the one who made a mistake. I thought a lot of hopeful things, but most of all, I thought Rowan loved me enough to face the demons holding him back. But this isn’t some fairy tale. Change doesn’t magically happen because someone threw pixie dust in the air or made a wish on a shooting star.
