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I pace the front porch. The wood creaks under my shoes with every step. A twig snaps and I look up to find Zahra walking up the driveway wearing the same white dress as earlier. The colors of the sunset make the perfect backdrop for her, and I find myself getting lost in how beautiful she is.
The only thing missing is her smile. After today, I swear to never make her feel anything but happy around me. While it might seem like an impossible goal, I’m all about achieving the unattainable.
Zahra walks up the steps, keeping her face neutral. She makes a move toward the front door but I steer her toward the swinging bench I’ve come to appreciate. I’m hoping it brings me some courage to get through everything I’m about to unleash.
Now’s a good time to wish me luck, Mom.
“So…” Zahra rocks back and forth, making the swing move.
“When my grandfather sent me here as part of his will, I never thought I would meet someone as special as you. It was supposed to be a simple project. But I should have known things wouldn’t go according to plan the moment you fell into my lap—quite literally. It’s like life kept throwing you in my way time and time again hoping I would get the memo. I was too stubborn to realize that you were always meant to be mine, Zahra. And because of that, I made mistakes. I lied about who I was. I refused to trust you even though I knew deep down I could. And most of all, I pushed you away when you did nothing but open your heart up to me without any reciprocation. I took your love for granted when I should have cherished it. Because to be loved by you is a gift. One that I threw away because I was too stupid and selfish to give you that kind of power over me in return.”
Her eyes soften around the edges, and she pulls my hand onto her lap.
“You were right when you said you deserve better. You always have and you always will. But I refuse to let you go. Ican’tlet you go because you’re the one person in this entire world who makes me want to smile, and I’m too damn selfish to let the best thing in my life get away from me because I’m afraid.”
Her eyes fill with tears but she blinks the tears away before they fall.
I give her hand a squeeze. “Truth is, I’m terrified of falling in love. But I’d rather trust you with my heart and risk you breaking it than live another day without you in my life. I want to be the kind of man that deserves a woman as beautiful, selfless, and kind as you. It might take my entire life to achieve that kind of goal, but as long as you’re by my side, I’d consider it a life worth living.”
Her bottom lip wobbles and I trace it with my thumb.
“And while I know I don’t deserve you, I’ll spend every single day proving to you how much I love you.”
A tear slips out, and I brush it away with the pad of my thumb.
“What about moving back to Chicago?”
“Fuck Chicago. There’s nothing I want more than to stay here with you and build a life together.”
“A kiss for a secret?” Her voice cracks.
I nod.
Her lips press against mine. I sigh as I wrap my hand around the back of her neck and pull her close. I pour every feeling into that kiss, hoping she understands how much I care about her. How I never want to let her go.
She pulls away with a ragged breath. “I love you too, Rowan. And I would be more than happy to protect your heart from the world because you make me want to be a little bit selfish too.” Her smile rivals everything else in the entire world.
Zahra’s it for me. I know it with everything in me, and my intuition has never been wrong before. There’s nothing in the world I’ll find more beautiful than her. Not the sun. Not the moon. Not even the entire galaxy compares to the light she radiates wherever she goes.
51
Zahra
Rowan’s lips only leave mine to carry me up the stairs without falling. My legs stay wrapped around his hips during the entire journey until he throws me on his bed and rips off all my clothes.
He kisses a trail from my lips to my hip bone, making me feel so pretty my eyes water. His hands drag down my thighs. He’s sure to tease me as he moves, caressing my skin with the faintest touch that has me gasping.
“I love the little noises you make because they’re all mine.” His gaze burns into me as he traces the curve of my breast with his index finger. My skin pebbles in his wake, and my clit throbs.
“But I especially love the moans you make when I do this.” He drops to his knees before his tongue drags across my center. My hips buck off the mattress, and Rowan presses his palm flat against my stomach, holding me down.
“I thought I knew what it meant to be selfish, but then I met you. I want to own you in every way that matters. Your time. Your smiles. Your heart.” His devious smile sends a shiver down my spine.
There’s no other word to describe the way he worships me. I feel like I’m laid on an altar, with Rowan showering me with his devotion. He uses his tongue as a weapon, turning me into nothing but putty beneath his hands. My world shifts to black as I shut my eyes and get lost in the feel of his tongue fucking me into oblivion.
His hands grip my ass and squeeze, making me gasp. “Eyes on me.”
