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No, not as a debt. It had to be freely given or not at all. She only wanted babies; this did not make babies. He needed her to want it for herself. If she wanted it for herself, then she wouldn’t want to leave.
“You told me you like it,” she said.
She freed her head from his hand and returned her mouth to his skin, murmuring at him between kisses that he was helpless to stop.
“You do it for me, and it feels good, and I want to make you feel good. And you won’t tell me why you’re upset, so I must find another way to make you feel better, because when I’m upset, you make me feel better, and I like that we do that for each other.”
Yes, yes, but…He could not bear for her to feel obliged.
“Besides, I’m curious,” she added. “I want to try it and it has taken me this long to work up the courage. So frankly, it would be churlish of you to refuse me now.”
She won. He surrendered.
“I wouldn’t want to be churlish,” he said. “My wife is teaching me to be polite, you know.”
“And my husband is teaching me to be wicked.”
Threading his fingers in her hair, he watched through heavy-lidded eyes as she took him in her mouth. She experimented first, with nibbles and licks and kisses that would kill him. He heard his own breathing, ragged and shallow through his tight, tortured chest.
“I don’t know…” She looked up at him. “Tell me what to do. If you don’t tell me, I won’t know.”
Somehow, he managed to wrap her hand around the shaft and tell her how to take him, and soon she found what he liked. Oh, sweet mercy, that felt good. Because she was sensitive too, and she cared about getting it right, and that was her, wasn’t it? Seeing people, caring about them, and giving, always bloody giving, always wanting to right the world. He should stop her but he liked her taking care of him, and he was selfish enough to believe that she enjoyed it, because he enjoyed taking care of her, and she liked that they did that for each other and he liked it too, and he couldn’t think, he only knew that this felt splendid and she was his wife and he must not come in her mouth, but oh sweet mercy her mouth was wonderful, and she was wonderful and—
She released him. Cold air hit his wet cock. He bit back a scream.
Freeing his fingers from her hair, he fought for breath and patience. He opened his eyes to see her bathed in firelight and breathing raggedly too.
“Are you all right?” he asked, all on a breath.
“Yes. I’m…It’s quite…That is…Don’t you think?”
“I wouldn’t know.”
She laughed and he cradled her cheek and marveled at her soft eyes and plump lips.
“Say you’ll visit me at Sunne Park.”
“You keep doing this to me, I’ll promise you the world.”
“I didn’t ask for the world.”
She lowered her head but it was no use. She had already defeated him.
Ignoring her confused protests, he pulled her up and shoved up her annoying nightwear. Once she understood, she eagerly straddled him and guided him inside her, sinking down on him with a high-pitched moan that almost broke him.
She buried her face in his neck and he gripped her buttocks, thrust his hips, wanting to savor her but needing to be deep inside her, deeper, deeper, desperate now, fearing that he could never be deep enough. He willed himself not to lose control, not yet, but then she put her lips to his ear and whispered, “I love the feel of you inside me,” and he did lose control, coming hard with a shudder that shook them both.
Yet she had no shudder of her own.
He wrapped his arms around her, their bodies breathing together. He felt marvelous and guilty.
“You didn’t come,” he said.
“So I win.”
He laughed and breathed her in. “I am as weak as a kitten now, but when I get my strength back, I will carry you to that bed and pleasure you mercilessly, and then we’ll see who wins.”
Chapter 21
