AllFreeNovel
Share Us
After I got with Sean most of my girl friends slowly disappeared, but Laura and Sam stuck with me—for a while. They would complain that I didn’t spend enough time with them, that Sean controlled my life, but I was in love and wanted to spend all my time with him.
Then when Laura accused Sean of coming on to her, claiming he groped her at a club one night, I put it down to jealousy. God. I was so fucking blind. I should have listened to my friends. Friends that I’d grown up with, especially Laura. We’d known each other since primary school, but after that we drifted apart. And now I see it for what it was; Sean isolating me.
Listening to Blue and Jamie laughing and joking seems so natural, like that’s how it should be, and that makes me uncomfortable. How can a man I’ve only known for five minutes fit into my new life so perfectly? I feel so confused when Blue’s around because I know that he’s a dangerous man, strong and powerful, yet there is something more than that. He has my body wanting and feeling things I never thought it would again. Blue doesn’t scare me physically. Emotionally? Without a doubt.
I throw my hair up into a messy bun and take a quick shower. Stepping back into my room, I find Blue sitting on the end of my bed, elbows resting on his knees, head down. Given that he hasn’t looked up, I guess he didn’t hear me come in. Suddenly, I’m all too conscious that I’m only wearing a towel and horny as hell, and this guy sets my blood racing faster than a McLaren F1 car.
“What the fuck, Blue!”
He raises his head just enough to look up at me, “Sorry,” he says, his lip curls up as his eyes rake over me, taking in my lack of clothing. “Nice shower?” he asks with a wink, trying to get a rise out of me, but I just glare at him. Rising to his feet he says, “I got a call, I need to head out, and I didn’t want to leave without saying bye.”
“What a gentleman,” I scoff, “I’m not your keeper, so, please don’t feel you need to inform me of your every move.” There’s a bite to my words, and that vexes me even more.
Blue slowly comes towards me. He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t need to because the look on his face says it all and then some. Coming to a stop, our toes almost touching, he reaches out and tucks a stray lock of hair behind my ear. His fingers graze the edge of my ear as he does, sending tiny little shock waves all over my body. He’s invading my space, surrounding me, towering over me, his scent, something masculine with a hint of leather, has my synapses firing off everywhere. I feel my skin begin to heat and my breathing changes, becoming slower but heavier.
“I’m a perfect gentleman when it counts. Now, in the bedroom, that’s another story, let’s just say all bets are off. There’s only one gentlemanly thing I do in the bedroom, and do you know what that is, Camryn?” he asks, rolling the ‘r’ so it sounds like a purr. Unable to speak, as is usual around this infuriatingly, cocky but sexy arsehole, I just shake my head. “I make sure the lady always comes first, at least once.” I literally have to clamp my mouth shut to stop the moan that is hellbent on escaping, and the bastard knows it too.
Determined to turn me into a puddle on the floor, he traces his finger along the inside of the top of my towel. Then yanks me forward, slamming me up against him. I grab his hips to steady myself, oh dear God, have mercy. He lifts my chin with his finger, running his thumb over my bottom lip before leaning forward so his lips just brush mine. It’s the most erotic ‘almost’ kiss I’ve ever had. “I really do have to go, but I’ll see you soon.” he whispers. I can feel his erection through his jeans, and it takes everything in me to not rub up against him like a dog in heat. Then he kisses me, taking my mouth like it’s his very breath. His lips leave mine just as quick as they came, and then he’s gone. Fuck. I really need to go and paddle the pink canoe now.
When I get back downstairs, Jamie is dishing up dinner. We sit at the table and talk about crap, avoiding the topic I just know Jamie really wants to talk about.
In the six months since I met Jamie, we have become really close, and it’s amazing how much we have in common. Especially given our differing financial status. Don’t get me wrong, we weren’t poor by any means, we lived comfortably, but nowhere near the luxury that Jamie is used to. You would never know it to look at her, though. More often than not her red hair is wildly untamed, she wears very little makeup and shops in high street stores the rest of us common folk use. She could throw on a bin bag and take a walk down the catwalk, turning every head in the place.
Several times whilst clearing the plates away I catch Jamie watching me from the corner of her eye, and I can practically see the questions bursting to get free. Feeling generous and knowing there is no escape from them, I decide to put her out of her misery.
“Just ask, Jamie,” I tell her. She looks over at me, a look of mock surprise on her face, “Oh, please. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
I wait it out, and it takes all of two seconds for her to grab my hand and drag me to the lounge, pulling me down onto the sofa with her. She sits facing me, one foot on the floor and the other bent at the knee in a half-crossed leg position. I mirror her, our knees touching, with a small smile on my face at her excitement.
“Okay, spill the beans. I want to know everything.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I mock.
“Now who’s bullshitting who. Come on, give me something. Have you kissed? What was it like?” The excitement on her face matches that of a kid in a sweet shop. I feel like a teenager that just had her first kiss and am telling my best friend all about it.
“Jeez, Jamie, we’re not twelve,” I say, rolling my eyes with a small laugh. Realising she’s not going to drop it, I tell her about Blue’s apartment, and when I tell her how he caged me in against the window and what he said to me, she literally squeals. Falling back on the sofa, with her hand over her heart she sighs.
Sitting back up just as quickly she’s says, “Please tell me you let him fuck you, there and then up against the window? ‘Cause that shit is hot.”
“Of course I didn’t!” I exclaim, like it’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.
“You’re telling me you didn’t want to jump that man’s bones and have his babies? ‘Cause I would have been all over that shit, and he’s not even my type. But I’d take one for the team, if he talked dirty to me like that. You know, like can you imagine how gorgeous his baby would be—” she tails off, looking at me. I feel the tears well in my eyes, and I know she sees them too. “Ah, fuck. I’m sorry, Cam. I didn’t…I wasn’t thinking. I just…”
“It’s fine, Jamie.” I sigh, feeling bad that my grief has marred what should be a funny moment between us. My sorrow turns to anger when I think about what I’ve lost because of my own weakness, naivety, better yet, stupidity.
Giving birth to Faye was the happiest day of my life, erasing all the pain and suffering I had endured. Having her gave me the strength to survive. I’d take every punch, kick, all of it again, if only I could hold her in my arms one more time.
The day she died my whole world fell apart. I look at Jamie, the pain I know she’s feeling for bringing up my daughter couldn’t be clearer. Feeling it would be good for both us, I decide to push my grief aside and share a little about Faye with her. Remembering the one photo of her that I was able to bring with me, I tell Jamie to hold on and rush to get it.
When I return, I hand her the photograph. It’s of Faye laying on a picnic blanket under a cloudy sky with the sun trying to shine behind the weight of the clouds. It’s kind of how I feel now, trying to move through the darkness and forward with my life. To forget all the bad and shine again, only my light isn’t as bright or strong as the sun’s, but I’d like to think it will be one day.
We talk for hours, and Jamie just listens. I’m so lucky to have found her, and it’s amazing how light I feel afterwards. When I finally crawl into bed later that night, lying there thinking over our conversation, I think back to my reason for leaving in the first place.
Sean’s hold on me broke when my mum and daughter died, he no longer had leverage to keep me under his control, but I was drowning in a world of sorrow and pain. I was like a fucking zombie for those first few weeks, and even after that I just went into autopilot.
Tyler was the one to finally help me, that’s why Sean’s video hurt so much. Tyler joined Sean’s team two years after we got together, and I always liked him from the moment we first met. He was always careful around Sean, but when we were alone, he was sweet and caring.
For a while I thought I had a crush on him, but I soon realised it wasn’t reciprocated. He was married, and I just wanted someone to rescue me, I guess. In the end that’s exactly what he did, and now I’ll never be able to thank him properly.
