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“Luckily for him, I can’t get out of this damn bed, otherwise he wouldn’t just look like he had, trust me.” I push the button on the side of the bed to raise it up slightly, screwing my face up as the movement pulls on my shoulder.
Once I’m settled, Jamie sits in the chair next to me and waits for me to talk. I don’t really want to relive everything so soon, but I know talking about it with Jamie will help. I tell her everything and feel surprisingly lighter after.
“So, he knew more about Sean than he told you, they have a history, and he knew about your past?” she verifies in short. I nod, expecting her to be as angry with him as I am but she’s not. “Have you given him a chance to explain? Because I guarantee that whatever you’re thinking about him knowing those things about you, will not be the same for him.”
“What are you saying, Jamie? I thought you’d understand.” I struggle to keep the irritation from my voice. Jamie’s my best friend, and the one person that I thought would be on my side.
“I do understand, and you know I love you, Cam. But don’t let your own hang-ups about what happened to you push the people that care about you the most away.” I try to interrupt, but Jamie holds a hand up, stopping me. “You need to consider his reasons for not sharing with you. Let me ask you this, what was your biggest fear about Blue finding out?”
My immediate response is that Ryder would think differently about me, that he’d think I’m worthless and disgusting. But thinking more about it, that doesn’t really add up. If Ryder has known all this time, and he actually thought that, then why would he sleep with me in the first place? When I tell Jamie my thoughts, she nods her agreement.
“That’s my point, Cam. And how do you feel about yourself and what happened to you?” Her question comes out strong, but I don’t miss the cautionary way she says it.
I know what she’s asking, what she’s saying. She thinks that I projected how I feel about myself onto Ryder. I realise she’s not wrong. “I feel worthless and disgusting. Sean always told me I was a whore, and after everything that he…and his friends did to me I started to believe it.” I look away, unable to hold her gaze.
“Cam.” She waits for me to look at her before continuing. “You need to give him a chance to explain his reasons, and you need to start believing that you are worth so much more than what that fucker Sean told you. Sean manipulated you and used the ones you love against you to keep you under his control and by his side.”
I know everything she’s saying is true, but I’m not ready to believe it quite yet. I tell her that I’ll hear him out, but I’m not making any promises. Then I change the subject not wanting to talk anymore about the man that makes me feel safer than I’ve ever felt before. The man that has a whole rabble of butterflies beating in my chest whenever he’s near, and the man whose rough hands and rough touch make me fly.
Jamie wants to stay at her parent’s house a little longer, not for herself, but because things are so strained between her parents right now. She’s concerned about them and I totally understand.
I have no intention of going back to Ryder’s. I need some time to sort out my feelings before I face him again. Jamie promises that she’ll have my things returned to the house and arrange for a key to be dropped here for me ready for when I’m discharged.
After she leaves, I fall asleep for a while, and when I wake Seb is sitting in the chair tapping away at his phone. Feeling immensely irritated that he’s here, having just woken up and because my shoulder is throbbing like a bitch, means my welcome is not exactly, well, welcoming.
“What do you want, Seb?”
“Woah. Someone’s snarky when they wake up.” He slips his phone into his pocket. “A little birdie told me that you’re pissed at them, so I’m here until you two kiss and make up.” He gives me a wink then waggles his brows. I have to try damn hard not to smile at him, but then I remember who he’s talking about and any thought of a smile disappears.
“Well, in case you didn’t know, the bad guy is dead, and I don’t need a babysitter anymore. So, you can go. Please let Rick know that I appreciate all his help, and I’ll sort out payment with him soon.” I shuffle the blankets on my bed for something to do with my one good hand, then turn to look out the window. The nurse comes in before Seb gets a chance to reply, small mercies.
I realise that I must have slept longer than I thought, it’s now almost dawn, and I watch as the sun begins to rise over the city skyline. The nurse said that the doctor will be round shortly, and if he’s happy then I’ll be discharged later today.
Seb sits quietly in the chair, and when I sneak a look at him, I see he’s fallen asleep. Head to one side, at an angle that’s sure to give him a crook neck when he wakes. Serves him right.
I don’t understand why Ryder would send him here. I’m not in danger anymore, am I? No, that can’t be it. Despite how I feel about Ryder, I know damn sure he wouldn’t have left, no matter how mad I am at him, if that were true.
I think back over my conversation with Jamie and she’s right. I have been projecting how I feel about myself onto Ryder and that’s not fair. But that doesn’t excuse the fact he knew and didn’t say anything, and it also doesn’t explain why he never told me he knew so much about Sean or what their connection was.
It’s obvious from Sean’s comments that Tyler was working with Ryder and the guys, it’s obviously how they knew about me, but what I don’t understand is what Ryder’s personal vendetta against Sean is about. Then the dots slowly connect. Kyle, Ryder’s brother, that’s the connection. It has to be. I’m not sure how I feel about being a pawn in their personal war on Sean. I hated the guy, and I’m glad he’s dead. But now I’m thinking that Rick only agreed to help because I was the best way to get to Sean. I guess there’s only one way to find out.
I doze for a while. The painkillers the nurse gave me are bloody good. Seb snores in the chair beside me, but as soon as the door to the room opens, he’s awake and alert.
The doctor approves me for discharge, and I can’t wait to get out of this place.
After the doctor leaves to arrange my discharge papers, I change into the clothes that Seb brought for me while he goes to make a phone call. I don’t need to be a detective to work out who he’s phoning.
Seb escorts me from the hospital an hour later, and when I tell him to take me to Jamie’s there’s not even the hint of an argument from him. I have to admit that I’m a little surprised and maybe a little disappointed too.
When we pull up at Jamie’s there’s no sign of the police tape from the last time we were here, and as I step out of the car, I realise I don’t know what happened to Russ.
“It’s okay, Cam, Russ is locked up. He’s being charged with the attack on Jamie and several other things that we don’t need to talk about right now. Come on let’s get you settled. I don’t know about you but I’m starving.” I frown at the back of Seb’s head as he carries my bag up the drive. I jog a few steps but stop when it jolts my shoulder. Seb pulls a key from his pocket, opening the door and stepping in.
“Hey. What do you mean other things?” I don’t get to say another word as a little boy comes running down the hall, crashing into Seb, who drops my bag and picks the boy up. It’s then I see its Max, Rick’s son, and the smell of cooking hits me at the same time.
“Dad, dad, uncle Seb is here—with another girl,” he says, rolling his eyes as he spots me behind Seb. I choke back a laugh as Rick enters the hall. “Hey, I know you, you were at our house that day. Uncle Ryder said you were hot.” There’s a cough from Rick, as he ushers Max back through to the kitchen, and Seb lets out a loud laugh.
“Now that is priceless.” Seb picks up my bag from the floor, and I smack him on the back of the head as he rights himself. “Ow! What the fuck was that for?” Humour laces his words as he heads for the stairs, and I follow behind.
