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I nod, “Just…tell him to give me some time, okay? I know we need to talk, but I want— no, I need to sort things out in my own head first.” Standing, I give Rick a one-armed hug. “Thank you. I can never repay you for everything you’ve done for me. Oh, shit. I need to pay you,” I blurt out, pulling back.
“Fuck, no, you don’t. Don’t you dare insult me by even offering.” Rick smiles at me, leaning down and kissing me on the cheek.
“Are you going?” I ask, a little nervous about being alone.
“Yeah, I have some things I need to sort out here before going back home tonight. Don’t worry, you won’t be alone.”
“What—” I look over just as Seb and Max fly through the back door. “Oh, no! No way.” Rick just winks, calling out to Max that it’s time for them to go. Seb comes over, throwing his arm round my shoulders but careful not to touch my left one.
“He told you, huh. You and me, princess. You and me.” Seb chuckles, and I elbow him in the ribs. “Oomph! Hey, what’s with all the hate today.” Releasing me, he walks over to Max, crouching down to his level. “Okay, little man, you take care of your ole man. He’s not as sprightly as he used to be.” Seb ducks this time as Rick goes to cuff him round the ear. “Ooh, that was pretty quick, but not quick enough,” he mocks, with a smirk on his face. “Now, I’ll see you again real soon, and we can hang out some more. Miss you, bud.” Seb holds out his fist for Max to bump.
Standing back up, him and Rick do the whole man hug, pat on the back shit, then head to the door. I hear Max ask his dad if I’m Seb’s girlfriend. Rick picks him up and whispers in his ear. I can’t hear all of what he says, but I do catch the name Ryder. Rick turns and winks at me as he steps outside.
“You’re not funny, you know that, right.” He just laughs, dropping Max to the floor, and he runs to the car that has pulled up outside.
“Sure I am. Look after yourself, and don’t be a stranger, Cam.”
“Hold on, what do I do about my name and ID?”
“That is entirely up to you. If you want to go back to Kasey, I can sort it for you.” Rick tilts his head as he waits for me to reply. I already know the answer without really having to think about it.
“No. No, I’m not her anymore.” I feel a flutter in my chest at that. I haven’t been her for a long time. This is me now, and I get to start afresh. Rick nods, a smile lighting up his face. He waves as he gets in the car, and I call out a goodbye to them as the car pulls away.
Back inside, Seb is making tea in the kitchen and carries it into the lounge just as I take a seat on the sofa. Putting the cups down, Seb drops into the seat beside me and snatches the control from me as he does.
“Hey!” I grumble. “Give that back.” He holds it up out the way as I try to take it back. My back stings as I stretch, giving up with a wince and gently resting back in the seat.
Seb refuses to give it back all day, even taking it to the bathroom with him. Dick. He also refuses to let me do anything, even make tea, until I threaten to castrate him while he sleeps.
With no phone I can’t message Jamie and beg for her to come and rescue me. I could call the landline, but I don’t want to in case things are going off with her parents.
Seb makes sure I take regular painkillers, and he makes dinner while I snooze on the sofa. I haven’t really had chance to think over everything Rick told me, but as soon as I slip into bed, my brain lights up like a freaking firework.
I hardly get any sleep, between my brain being unable to switch off, and the nightmares that come when I finally do sleep, I’m lucky if I got more than a couple of hours. But it has allowed me to think about what I need to do.
Seb slept on the sofa, despite me telling him to take Jamie’s room. The thought of me telling her that a hottie slept in her bed without her brings a huge smile to my face. I might tell her anyway, just for kicks.
Seb is still snoring away when I slip into the kitchen to make tea before grabbing the phone and heading out to the garden to make a start on getting my shit together.
Two WeeksLater
Jamie came home a week ago, and I returned to work. Seb left when Jamie decided to come home. I heard him on the phone to Ryder, shouting about me not needing him here anymore. Neither of us spoke about their conversation, but I got the impression that Seb was pissed at Ryder for some reason.
Things have been going really well. I called a therapist after realising that I needed some help to accept what had happened to me and if I ever wanted to move on.
I still haven’t spoken to Ryder, but Seb and Rick call regularly. I know I need to call him, but I’m shit scared. What if he’s moved on? Found a girl with less baggage and—. I slam the brakes on those thoughts just like Haley, my therapist, taught me to.
Haley has been a god send. Helping me understand that none of what happened was my fault. I don’t feel worthless anymore, I know that I deserve to be loved, and am lovable, and I can, and deserve to have another child one day. I had the biggest panic attack in a long time when she first suggested that to me, but now I realise that there’s no reason why not. I understand that it won’t mean forgetting or replacing Faye, and I can’t live my life in fear of what might happen.
Jamie has planned a weekend away for us, and I can’t wait. I make a promise to call Ryder when we get back, I owe him that much, and it’s not fair to keep him hanging. I miss him. I can’t sleep properly, and I get all teary eyed when someone mentions his name, which isn’t often seeing as I told everyone to not talk about him.
Dragging my bag from my room, I pause outside Jamie’s when I hear her talking to someone. “I’ll message you when we arrive. Yes, okay, bye.” Not wanting to get caught eavesdropping, I quickly knock before pushing the door open further.
“You ready?” Jamie is on her bed, and a look of concern flashes across her face before it’s gone again. I don’t ask, knowing she’ll tell me when she’s ready.
Her parent’s relationship is over. Just before she moved back home, they sat her down and told her they were getting a divorce. She was devastated and always believed that her parents would be together forever. Since then her dad has moved out to an apartment closer to work in the city, and she barely talks to either of them.
“Absolutely. Let’s go. Have you got everything?” she asks, as she picks up her own bag.
