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Twenty
Seb
As soon as the words leave my lips, I wish I could take them back, but they’re out there. When I told her Rick sent me, it wasn’t a lie. But telling her she was wrong had nothing to do with Rick and why I was there and everything to do with the other night. I let my guard down, and she didn’t miss my slip up or the opportunity to call me out on it either. Now I have to deal with the fallout of my foot in mouth affliction. An affliction that is out of fucking control around this crazy, gorgeous woman.
I wouldn’t mind so much if her feisty attitude didn’t get me hard as steel and wanting to sink into her sweet as sin pussy. I had little control over what happened next as my lips met hers. She gave in easily to this crazy, fucked-up attraction we have towards each other, and I wonder what it would be like if she was mine. And mine alone. To own her, to consume her and never let her go.
But I can’t have that, so I broke the kiss before it could go too far. She’s not ready yet. I’m not sure I am either, but I can no longer deny I want her. Can’t deny that she makes me want to try.
* * *
I makeit back to the apartment and find Jay sprawled across the sofa watching some action movie with a beer in his hand. That looks like the perfect way to spend the rest of my day, so I grab a beer from the fridge and drop down into the seat next to him.
“Bad day?” he asks, humour and sarcasm not so thinly veiled in the question.
“The fucking worst.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Fuck no! I ain’t no fucking girl that talks about her feelings and shit.”
“Okay, well, go and get laid then. That’ll sort you right out.” He nudges my shoulder, chuckling.
“You know what, that’s a great idea.” I leave it hanging there for a second knowing as soon as I say my next words, he’s going to laugh his arse off. “Pity my dick doesn’t agree.”
Jay cracks up. “Man, that is…” He clutches his side, laughing so hard. “Wow. That is a definite problem,” he snickers.
“No shit, Sherlock,” I say, landing a punch to his arm. I don’t hold back either, so his pain filled cry is warranted. We sit in silence for a couple of minutes, staring at the TV and drinking our beers.
“What’s holding you back from taking what you so obviously want?” I side eye him, but he keeps his eyes on the TV.
I shrug, not really having an answer to that question. There’s no deep and dark trauma in my past when it comes to my own relationships, no childhood girl that screwed me over and jaded me, but I guess growing up in a house with parents that could barely stand being in the same room as each other might have something to do with it. Having a father who took his vows about as serious as a career criminal takes an oath on the stand at court meant that my morals might have gotten screwed growing up.
What I realised as I got older was, I’d rather spend my life playing the field than fall in love and break every promise I made to the one person I proclaimed to love. When I tell Jay, he nods in understanding.
“I get it, Seb. But you ain’t like your dad, and Jamie isn’t your mum. For all that full of yourself and cock-sure attitude you give off, I know you, man. Underneath you’re loyal and commit when it’s needed. You were in the army, you were prepared to give up your life for the love of your country and a shit load of people, some of which don’t deserve it. There is nothing to make me think, when the time comes, you’ll let the person you love down. If anything, I think you’ll love so hard, you’ll drive Jamie crazy with your possessiveness. Not to mention your controlling behaviour in the bedroom. Jamie is not a woman you can control, let me tell you.”
I give him another punch and snarl at him. He just laughs as if I just proved his point. I don’t tell him that he couldn’t be more wrong about Jamie in the bedroom.
I fill him in on what went down last night and this morning. Jasper being there this morning is worrying me, and the fact she wouldn’t tell me what he wanted and lied about work all add up to something not being right.
I thought after our conversation with Rick the other night, she would have stayed away. Then I remember what Rick said about her looking for her own answers. It’s the sort of thing she would do. Exactly the stupid, reckless kind of behaviour she’s been displaying lately.
She doesn’t realise it, and hopefully she never will, but I’ve been keeping tabs on her. I’d be a fool not to.
“What you thinking, man?”
I tip up the bottle, draining the last mouthful. “I’m thinking that Jamie is about to step into a world of trouble.”
“Yeah? You mean more trouble than she’s already in with you?” Jay laughs, and though a smirk pulls at my mouth, I give him another punch. “Oww. Stop hitting me, man. Or whatever favour you’re about to ask me, will be flat-out declined with no possibility of reconsideration.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I tell him, starring into my empty bottle.
“Sure you do. Come on, hit me with it. And not literally this time, please.”
I sigh. “I need you to follow her tonight. She’s up to something, and I need to be at this meeting with Rick, otherwise I’d do it myself.”
“Sure thing.” Jay slaps my thigh as he gets up. “You want another beer?”
