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Twenty-Eight
Jamie
My legs barely carry me to the bathroom, and once I’m inside, I slide down the door and melt into a puddle on the floor. Holy shit! Fuck! I don’t know what to deal with first; the half of my body currently burning up from the inside out or the half that wants to crawl outside of my body and runaway, screaming like a banshee through sheer fear.
Reckless. That’s what it would be to allow this man inside my heart. But the little devil that sits on my shoulder lately, tempting me, whispers, ‘You are reckless.’ He’s not wrong. And I’m completely torn between wanting to give myself over to Seb and pushing him away.
I once told Cam she shouldn’t let her past stop her from taking a risk, and now here I am scared out of my mind that if I do this, one day he’ll ruin me. Walk away, throw me away like I mean nothing and trample all over my fragile heart. I know she’d tell me to stop being a pussy, be reckless and own it. She already called me out about Seb, telling me he infuriates me because he makes me feel, and it’s the fucking truth. Every last word of it.
A knock comes at the door before Jay’s voice, telling me dinner is almost ready.
“I’ll be out in a minute. Thanks,” I tell him, happy my voice doesn’t fail me.
Five minutes later, I’m walking back out to the kitchen to find Jay and Seb sitting at the counter talking and eating. Seb has his back to me, and doesn’t see me as I approach, which is why I’m able to hear his last words to Jay, just as Jay looks up at me.
“I’m not happy about it, but we’ll go Friday. It’s our best shot at finding out what the fuck goes down at the club.”
“Where are we going Friday? A club?” I say, walking around to sit on the stool beside Jay. Seb coughs, almost choking on his last mouthful.
“You are not going anywhere. Jay and I have to be somewhere Friday night, but I’ll make sure you aren’t alone.”
I grab my fork, loading it up, and just before putting it in my mouth, I say to Seb, “Is this one of those ‘the first rule of Fight Club, is don’t talk about Fight Club’ things?” I push the food into my mouth, and my tongue explodes with flavours, and I can’t help the moan that passes my lips. “Wow. This is amazing, Jay.” I go in for another mouthful, pausing as I feel eyes on me. Looking up, I see Seb watching me, a look of hunger in his eyes and not for the food on his plate. Two can play at his game. I lick my lips and then slip my fork into my mouth, drawing it out slowly, deliberate, and humming as I do. “So, Friday?” I see Jay hiding a snicker as he tries to eat as quick as possible.
“It’s nothing like fucking Fight Club, Jamie. Just work, that’s all, and I don’t want you anywhere near it.” I hear his vexation through his clipped words. It’s as though he can’t decide between being turned on and pissed off. It’s a beautiful sight to see, especially when his nostrils start to flare.
“Well, if you’re not going to let me tag along, at least tell which club.”
Seb and Jay both answer at the same time, giving completely different answers, but it’s Jay’s that has me sitting up straight.
“Tempest? This is why you’ve been going there?” I ask, but Seb is too busy throwing daggers at Jay to hear me as Jay picks his plate up and slinks away. “Seb.” I call, trying to draw his attention back to me. “Seb, what does Tempest have to do with your job?” I remember the night of Dana’s birthday, Seb was there and that guy, Mark, I think his name was, and how when he looked at me it made my skin crawl. The way he spoke was vulgar, even by my standards, and I like a bit of dirty talk, but his was…just wrong. “Is this about that Mark guy?”
Seb finally turns and looks at me, and I have my answer because at the same moment, Jay drops something in the sink with a loud smash.
“It doesn’t matter why we are going there. All you need to know is you’re not. You know how this works, Jamie.” He sighs.
“Yeah, I do. But you know what? Doesn’t mean I have to like it. And don’t think I didn’t see the look pass between you two earlier.” I circle a pointed finger, encompassing Jay and Seb. “When I mentioned what happened with the lady cop at the station. I know you’re not telling me everything. And your little distraction may have worked temporarily, but I don’t forget, Seb.” Seb’s nostrils flare, and I look back at Jay because I can’t afford to get distracted again.
“Yeah, I’m still waiting to find out what that was about too.” Jay says with a shrug.
“Shut up, Jay,” Seb says.
“Not helping!” I say at the same time. I jump from the stool and stalk down the hall, straight to Seb’s room. I block out the scent of him that fills the room and sets my heart racing. Instead, I snatch up two pillows from the bed and storm back out to the lounge. Throwing them down on the sofa, I look up at Seb.
“Screw you. Screw you both. Sleep well, Seb.” I rush back to the room, slamming the door shut. Relieved to see there’s a lock, I click it and then step away from the door just as the handle jiggles. I hear Seb cursing on the other side, and yeah, it’s petty, but it brings a smile to my face.
“Open the damn door, Jamie,” Seb demands with a bang on the door.
I bite back my retort, knowing it will be more effective if I ignore him altogether. Spinning on my heels, I take in the room around me. I never really got to look too closely at Seb’s room at Rick’s house. Mind numbing grief took control last night, apart from when Seb was screwing me into oblivion.
Now though, I see the man behind the mask. I’ve seen glimpses of him recently, and during our weekend together, but here in this room, the real Seb is revealed. Organised. Controlled. Disciplined. O.C.D at its finest. Not to the point of overtaking his life, but in a way that is subtle and, surprisingly, attractive. Seb is the order to my chaos. The restraint to my rashness. The control to my recklessness. He is everything I’m not, and I’m drawn to him in a way I never believed possible.
The banging on the door has stopped, and I step toward the wardrobe, opening it to see his clothing hung in pairs. Trousers paired with the best fitting t-shirt or shirt. There are even a couple of suits, including a tux, and my mouth waters at the idea of Seb wearing it.
I close the wardrobe and move to the drawers. More t-shirts, all neatly arranged and smelling like him. I pull one out, unfolding it to see it’s an old Nirvana t-shirt. I lay it on the bed while I strip out of my clothes.
I’m just pulling Seb’s t-shirt over my head, when the bedroom door crashes open, and Seb steps in.
“What the fuck!” I shout, shoving my arms through the holes and quickly pulling it the rest of the way down. Seb’s eyes glow as he takes me in, roaming over my body before coming to rest on my face, and it’s all it takes for the heat from earlier to return.
