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Forty-Four
Jamie
I watch as my mum shoots Marcus, and he stumbles backwards a little before looking from his chest to her, and I think it’s over, but as I push out of Seb’s arms to go to my mum, Marcus fires his own gun.
A split second of time can be the longest amount of time in your whole life. A split second can be the in between, a fragment of time where everything is good. And for that split second when Marcus fired his gun, I thought everything would be okay, but then as my mum fell to the floor, I realised nothing would ever be the same again.
A scream like no other rips from me as I scramble across the floor to my mum, and I grab her to me. “Mum, mum. Oh my god, no.” She opens her eyes, and they are already glassy as she looks up at me. I place my hand on her face as she tries to talk.
“I’m…sorry, my sweet baby girl. I wish there had been another way.”
“Don’t try to talk, Mum. Help is coming, and you’re going to be fine.” I stroke her face, leaving a streak of blood down her cheek, and I can’t help the sob that bursts from me.
“Listen to me, Jamie. He’s not your father, he lied to me.” She coughs and blood sprays from her mouth as she sucks in a rattling breath. “Make sure you take care of your dad and let Seb take care of you. You deserve to be happy…and I know he will do that for you.”
“Mum, please. You’re going to be here to see all of that and take care of Dad yourself, just hold on, please.”
“I…love you, Jamie, and tell your…dad too, okay,” she stutters out as her eyes cloud over and her last breath leaves her.
“No, no, no. Mum, mum, please I need you. Help. Somebody fucking help me,” I scream and beg, and then I begin compressions, all the while begging her to come back to me.
I don’t know how long I do it for, but eventually, someone wraps their arms around me, attempting to pull me away, and I fight like a fucking wildcat to stay beside my mum.
“Jamie, it’s me, Seb. I got you, baby. I got you,” he whispers in my ear as he picks me up in his arms. I bury my head in his neck and fucking break.
I cry, I scream, I lash out, but he never lets me go, and when my body finally tires and I fall silent, he just keeps holding me. Someone wraps a blanket around me, but it brings me no warmth at all. I feel sick. I feel numb.
I hear voices around me, shouting, harried voices that mean nothing to me and blow over me like a fall breeze.
I’m aware of someone checking me over, and then they are gone, only to be replaced with the sound of a man roaring in pain, and I know that sound. I know that pain, that hurt, because I feel it too.
“Where is she? Where’s my daughter?”
“She’s fine, Dom. She’s with Seb getting checked by the paramedics, which you should be doing.”
“I don’t need a fucking paramedic, Rick. I just lost my fucking wife and Jamie lost her mum, and all I need is to see my daughter, so move out of the damn way.”
I feel Seb, shifting position beneath me, and then he sets me down, and I realise we are inside a car.
“Stay here, I’ll be back in a second, okay?” He kisses my head before walking away towards the raised voices of Rick and my dad.
“If you want to see Jamie, I suggest you calm the fuck down, Dom. I understand your pain, but she doesn’t need to see this.”
“You think you can keep me away from my daughter? Who the fuck do you think you are, and what do you even know about the pain she’s going through?”
I get up out of the car, and slowly step toward where they are standing beside another car. As I get closer, I see Seb resting a hand on my dad’s shoulder as he continues to talk to him in a quiet voice.
“Da—” My throat closes up, and I swallow before trying again. “D…ad. Dad,” I manage to say, still a little croaky.
“Jamie. God, baby girl,” he says, jogging over to me and hugging me tightly. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers into my hair as a sob breaks free from him.
“I should have tried harder to save her, Dad. I’m sorry I—”
He pushes me back, so he can see my face. “Hey, no, Jamie, it’s not your fault. Your mother did what she did because she loved you, loved us, and would have done anything to keep you safe. You have nothing to be sorry for.” He pulls me back into another hug, and I wrap my arms around his waist, desperately holding onto him as tears slip down my face. My dad’s voice rumbles through his chest as he tells Seb to get me out of here.
He kisses me on the head before handing me over to Seb, who wraps an arm around me and leads me back to the car we were in. This time, I climb into the front as Seb opens the door for me, and then he jumps into the driver’s seat.
“Don’t you need to get your arm looked at,” I say as I see the blood soaking his shirt and wonder what happened to his jacket.
