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Yeah, that same adrenaline that was flowing through her veins has been lighting me up too. If I don’t get a cold shower soon, I might spontaneously combust.
“Arrrgh, fuck my arse is numb.” Jess grumbles as she climbs from the car and arches her back to stretch it out. “What is this place?” she asks, taking in the converted barn in front of her.
“It used to be my grandparents. The main house, anyway. But I started work on the barn conversion a couple of years back.”
My grandparents, Arthur and Doris Sullivan, lived here when my father and his brother, Harry, were young. Having spent all his childhood here, when my grandparents passed away just before Max was born, he couldn’t bear to part with it, so he kept it. Rented it out as a holiday let mostly, but Dad and Mum would come up here every now and then to check on it and have a break at the same time.
Max loves it, and before Sam’s death I’d thought about us moving here. Us in the barn and my parents in the main house. I decided that, even if I wouldn’t get to live in the barn, someone else should enjoy it, so I’d started the renovations.
Most of it is finished, bar a small section at the far end that still needs some work to it.
Jess spins round to face me. “You designed this?”
“Yeah.” I chuckle at her sceptical expression. “No need to sound so surprised, Jess.” I come and stand next to her as she turns to look out over the lake.
The lake glistens a brilliant burnt orange as the final rays of the setting sun dip behind a circular copse of trees in the distance.
“What a stunning view, Rick,” Jess marvels, her tone full of awe at the sight before her. “Why on earth would you not live here?” she questions, almost accusingly.
I’ve never been more thankful for the sound of tyres crunching on gravel as Seb and Jamie arrive and park alongside me.
Perhaps, in hindsight, coming here wasn’t my best idea, especially with a woman who has me rethinking everything and questioning my convictions as a husband and father.
My mind might be confused about my feelings for Jess, but my body has no such issue. The evidence of that is still lingering. If anything, the last twenty-four hours have made me realise that the time we have on this earth is short enough, and maybe I need to live every second of it like it’s my last. I’m thankful that this time I’m not walking away as an orphan and childless, but it could have been very different.
I pull the keys to the barn from my pocket and hold them out to Jess. She looks at them, then me, and I struggle to read the expression on her face. I struggle to read her full stop. I thought I built my walls high, but Jess’ are like scaling Everest.
As Seb and Jamie approach, Jess takes the keys and strolls to the barn. I watch as she inspects all the keys before selecting one and sliding it in the lock. It turns easily, and she pushes the door wide and steps inside, out of sight.
“What are you thinking?” Seb asks.
“I’m thinking how the fuck did those bastards know where we were?” Seb nods his agreement. “Come on, let’s get inside. I want to get the security measures set up.”
My decision to come here wasn’t without good reason. There’s no link to me and this property and land. I made sure to have the house placed under a pseudonym and any connection to my family is hidden. I’ve also installed the latest security system, including a GPS blocker. There are several that cover the whole property and about half the surrounding land I own. Being off radar seems like the safest option right now.
I’m not thinking too much about the fact I did all of that even though I never plan to live here. Perhaps, subconsciously, I knew that I’d need the protection one day.
Being here will hopefully give us some time to figure things out. I know there are going to be some hard conversations over the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours, necessary ones, that will give us some answers.
After setting everything up, I show Seb and Jamie to their room and go in search of Jess.
I find her in the unfinished end of the barn, looking over the lake.
I walk towards her on quiet feet, as though I’m testing her awareness, and she doesn’t disappoint.
As soon as I’m within striking distance, she throws her elbow back and high, aiming for my face. Grabbing her upper arm, I spin her, and as her other hand comes up to strike me, I grip her wrist. With both hands now restrained, I wait for the strike that every woman knows. No training is required for the knee to a man’s junk, but it doesn’t come.
I feel the pulse in her wrists speed up, and her chest rises and falls heavily with every breath.
I know what comes next. I’m a slave to it. I want it. I need it. Just as much as she does.
Our eyes lock, and I see the moment she accepts this is going to happen. I loosen my grip on her wrists, knowing she won’t fight me now, and raise her arms above her head. Uncurling my fingers, I let them trail down the sensitive skin on the inside of her arm, continuing over her ribs, pausing on the bruising there, till I reach the hem of her t-shirt. Fisting the material, I yank her body to mine, making her gasp. The contact is like a spark to a flame, setting alight my body and taking control.
My hands glide up her body, taking the t-shirt with them. Tugging it over her head, I discard it before my hands grip her face, bringing my lips to within an inch of hers.
“It hurts to want you, but I can’t help myself. Wanting you, touching you,owning you, is the best kind of punishment. I’m drowning in sin, and you are my redemption.” My throat closes on the last word, making it sound strained, then my lips meet hers in a kiss full of frustration wrapped up with a ribbon of anger and regret.
I groan as her tongue swipes along mine, tasting sweeter than sin and more lethal than a shot of heroin. I tear at her clothes, letting her taste, her smell, her touch, flood my veins, and I revel in Jess, the antidote to my pain.
