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Sheets crinkle on the bed beside me, and I turn to watch as Jess shifts in her sleep, and a frown of discomfort mars her face. She’s been in and out of sleep since they brought her to the ward.
The CT scan revealed that whilst the larger of the two stab wounds to her torso was fairly deep and had nicked her right lung, it hadn’t caused any other damage. The one to her shoulder is going to take some time to heal and will probably require physio to gain back full movement.
I have entirely too many emotions floating around my body right now. The one thing I am more sure of than ever is that I love Jess, and I’m not going to allow something I had no control over to ruin what I’ve got. There’ll always be that one percent of me that throws the occasional ‘what if’ and ‘I could have done more’, but it’s overridden by the reality that I did everything I could possibly do.
The door opens, and Ryder’s head appears. I get up and step out into the corridor to talk with him.
“How is she?”
“Doing okay. Sleeping a lot, but the nurse told me that’s to be expected. How’s Max?”
“He’s good. Seb and Jamie are bringing him up now. He’s been checked over and is absolutely fine.” He rubs the back of his neck.
“What’s up?”
“How areyoudoing?”
“I’ve been better.” Ryder folds his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow. I let out a sigh as my shoulders drop, knowing I don’t need to put on a brave face with him. “Honestly? I’ve never been so fucking terrified in my life, and we’ve been in some sticky situations, Ry. Not going to lie, I was worried there for a second.”
“Me too, man, me too.” Ryder’s eye flick over my shoulder as the sound of squeaky shoes on the shiny hospital lino echoes down the corridor. All of a sudden, the squeaking gets louder as tiny feet pad over the floor. I turn in time to catch Max as he dives at me.
“Hey, you,” I say, picking him up and holding him in one arm as Seb and Jamie join us. “You good, bud?”
“I’m good, Dad. Can I see Jessica now?”
My eyes scan the others, who all just smile like crazy people. “Well…er, she’s still—”
“Max?” comes a croaky voice floating from the crack in the door.
Max wiggles, asking me to put him down, and I do. He pushes the door wider, and as soon as he sees Jessica, he runs towards her.
Forty-Four
Jess
“Fuck that,” I curse as I turn too quickly. Opening my eyes, I see that it’s dark. The curtains are open, and the streetlights outside, although fading now, cast a shadowy light over the room. Easing to my back, I turn my head towards a beam of light spilling in from the corridor outside where I can hear voices. My head is little foggy, but I’m certain it’s Rick and Ryder.
Their muffled voices drift over me as I try to get comfortable, easing the bed into an upright position with the remote.
As I listen to the deep timbre of Rick’s voice, I’m assaulted by so many emotions that my body feels drained, wrung out, and I’m left feeling more exhausted than I’ve ever felt before.
I’m disgusted and ashamed; I’m angry and full of unresolved rage; I feel so much guilt for the things my father has done.
My whole life has been a lie, and the man I call father is the same man responsible for the death of countless people, woman and even children. Including his own. He’s exploited and manipulated people to climb to the top.
I may have crossed lines to get justice, a justice that should have been dealt by the police, the courts, but it’s not surprising when men like my father are at the helm of the justice system. Their justice is selfish, unfair and not a justice at all.
Now it’s my turn to dish out the justice.
I might not walk away unscathed, I may lose everything; my career, the man I love, but at least I’ll be able to look myself in the eye and sleep at night knowing that I did everything I could. That I did it without taking the lives of others and gained nothing in return.
I’m snapped from my thoughts when I hear shoes running on the lino, squeaking as they go. Then a voice that makes my heart skip a beat. A voice I was worried I’d never hear again. Max.
When I hear my name, I call out to him, so elated to hear him and terrified too. What if he’s hurt. What if Rick blames me? So many what ifs.
The door eases open, and I see Max. My whole body heaves a relieved sigh as I scan him and see he’s unhurt. So much so that he runs across the room towards me calling my name.
“Jessica.” He’s stopped just before he can leap on the bed, and my eyes meet vivid green ones.
