AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The water warms, and as it snakes down my tired body, I’m reminded of Noah’s lips, tongue and teeth as they trailed and explored me last night. Only, just like last night, it’s not him I picture when I close my eyes.
No, my imagination has fallen head over heels with the idea Maddox salaciously whispered in my ear last night.
Traitor. Traitorous body and mind.
I quickly wash, barely skimming my body so as not to ignite anymore lust driven thoughts about Maddox and Zak.
I’m just rinsing off the last of the conditioner from my hair when I hear the bathroom door opening and see Noah slipping inside. I promptly switch the shower off and climb out, snatching the towel hanging to the side and wrap it around me while Noah is busy taking a leak. I’m not sure when we went from hooking up to suddenly using the loo in front of one another, but I don’t fucking like it.
Finished relieving himself, he turns to me. “Morning.” His voice has a sleepy morning husk to it, and his hands reach out to draw me to him, but I brush them aside, stepping away from him.
“What are you doing, Noah? This is not us.” I grab another towel and begin drying my hair as I move to leave the room.
“Come on, Rox, we’re good together. Last night surely proved that to you,” he says, following me back into the bedroom.
I throw the towel I was using to dry my hair on the unmade bed and move to the dresser, taking out a pair of knickers and a bra.
“No, Noah, all last night showed me is that this can’t happen again.” I slip the knickers on, then drop the towel and put my bra on. “I need to be somewhere, so…” No need for me to finish as my meaning is clear.
“Hey,” he says, grabbing my arm and spinning me to face him. “What the fuck, Rox? You’re throwing me out?”
I look down at the hand wrapped around my bicep, then back to him as I yank away from his hold. “No, Noah, not literally, but fucking lay your hands on me again, and it can be arranged. I told you the other day, what’s between us is work and the occasional fun in the bedroom. Clearly, that’s not the case for you anymore, so this”—I wave a hand between us—“won’t be happening again. And I’ll say it again, just in case you didn’t get it the last time, if you can’t do your job without letting the fact we had sex get in the way then you need to walk away now.”
He starts collecting his clothes and pulling them on before he even looks at me again.
“You already know my decision, but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it. I’ll be in touch about the shooting when I know more. See you later, Rox.” He storms from the house, slamming the door behind him.
I finish getting dressed before stripping the bed and putting clean sheets on. Chucking it all in the washing machine and wishing it was as easy as that to wash away my stupidity for going there again with Noah when I knew he was starting to want more from me.
After a quick bite to eat and a much-needed coffee, I spend the rest of the morning going over everything that Noah gave me the other day again.
Noah told me last night that they still don’t have an ID of the guy in the pictures or the stringer. Still finding nothing of much use and needing some air, I decide to go and do the food shop I should have done two days ago.
A few people openly stare at me in the supermarket but most just avoid me. The lady at the checkout visibly turns her nose up at me as the previous customer moves away and I reach the till.
“Afternoon,” she greets, and whilst there’s a smile on her face, her tone does little to cover her dislike of me.
“Hey,” I greet back with a smile on my face. Kill the haters with kindness, right? I load my shopping and pay without another word said between us.
As I pick my bags up, the cashier leans forward and snarls, “You should be ashamed of yourself. Dirty pig.”
I pause, turning back to her and running my gaze over her. It makes her uncomfortable, which pleases me. I check her name badge, Lydia, and look her over again. After a moment I remember why she seemed familiar.
“How’s your brother, Lydia? I hear The Scrubs is better these days, safer,” I retort with a wink, only I don’t whisper like she did, and the small group around us, including several of her colleagues, gasp and begin whispering. “You know, glass houses and all that jazz. Bye, Lydia.”
I walk out of the supermarket with my head held high. They don’t know the truth, and most of them couldn’t give two shits. Even before my fabricated corruption story broke, cops weren’t respected as they should be.
Lydia’s brother, Thomas, is now serving life for murder. The lad was only eighteen and will now spend the best years of his life behind bars all for the glory and prestige he and others like him believe being part of a gang brings. I’m not judging because nowadays it’s kill or be killed. It’s a shocking ethos to live life by, but it’s a real one when you grow up on the poorest estates.
On my way home, I find myself taking a detour and pulling up at my old estate. I haven’t been back here in years, but it hasn’t changed much at all.
It reminds me of the filmHarry Brown,and just like in the movie, the entrance to the underpass opposite the flats is occupied by a group of youths harassing every passer-by and selling to those that want something for letting loose on a Saturday night.
Tears well in my eyes as I’m assaulted by memories. Some are good but most are painful, and when a young girl, around nine or ten, walks passed, there’s no stopping the tears that fall. She reminds me of Star.
My baby sister, Anastasia, was the most important thing in my life, and the one person I would have done anything for and frequently did too. I called her Star because that was what she was to me, the bright light in a dark world.
The night my mother was murdered, Star had been at the house with her. I know this because I’d spoken to her after school and made sure she’d gotten home okay. But when I got there and found my mother’s body, there was no sign of her.
