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A lot of it is a basic report of evidence that he’s submitted. But the last page contains details about a number of childrens’ bodies they discovered, most unidentified. It could take months or even years to identify them. And it’s likely they’ll discover more as they continue to search the property.
A shiver runs down the length of my body, and I’m reminded of the look in James’ eyes as he was carted off that night, and his promise to come for me. I’m not concerned, we have eyes on him. Besides, his list of contacts and associates is getting smaller and smaller. Most are already under arrest, and I imagine by the time he makes it to court, they’ll be dead or giving evidence against him to save their own skin, well, the best they can. Ain’t no saving them from what happens to paedophiles in prison.
“Rox, what is it?” Maddox asks, holding his hand out for the papers. I take away the last page, slipping it onto my lap, which he pretends not to see, and I hand him the rest.
I fold Noah’s letter up to read later. It’s not that I won’t share it with them, but I feel I need to read it alone first.
“Jesus fucking Christ! I wish I could bring him back just to kill him again,” Maddox says, passing the papers to Zak. No one disagrees with that statement.
Once the papers have been round the table, we drop the conversation and talk about much more pleasant things like Jess and Rick’s upcoming wedding. They aren’t wasting any time, and I don’t blame them. Life is too fucking short to spend with regrets and unfulfilled dreams.
After Mitch and Simone leave with Hope, I find myself alone in our bedroom. Somehow, in less than a week Maddox and Zak have managed to convert their previous two bedrooms into one big bedroom withthebiggest bed I’ve ever fucking seen.
Taking Noah’s letter from my pocket, I unfold it and sit on the bed.
Roxy,
I have enclosed a brief outline of the evidence I’ve collected for your information.
I feel I need to offer an explanation, even though I know you’re aware of the deal I made with Theo and the reasons why.
You and I were never meant to meet, Theo was always very clear about that, but when James pushed for me to get close to you as a way to get information on Star, I assured Theo that I could do it and would make sure you weren’t hurt in the process. I wanted you to find answers to. You deserved that much. If he were alive now, I’m almost certain I wouldn’t be. The man was shrewd and honourable, and believed in love and loyalty despite having lost both the woman he loved, so if he could see the mess I made and the pain I caused you, he’d have…well, you know.
Whilst I regret hurting you, I don’t regret loving you. Because that’s what happened. I fell in love with you, Roxy. It was so easy to do. And it’s no excuse, but I was hurt when I realised you were never mine to keep. A man’s ego is stupidly and easily bruised.
I hope that Maddox and Zak make you happy and understand the true beauty in loving a woman like you.
I’m happy that you now have the answers you were seeking and have the chance to make up for lost time with your sister.
I’m leaving in a week. I’ve taken a job in the country, Norfolk, of all places. I feel a change in pace is needed, at least for a while.
Take care, and I hope you can see your way to forgiving me.
Noah
I hold the letter in my lap, still unsure of how I feel about everything he said. I understand and can even justify what he did because I’m not one hundred percent sure I wouldn’t have done the same, but at the same time, it’s hard to take.
He put his own vengeance and pain above that of mine and hurt someone he says he loved in the process. Would I have done that? Could I have done that? If things had been different, maybe.
There’s a knock at the door, and Star pops her head round the door.
“Can I come in?” she asks, a little uncertainty in her voice.
“Of course,” I say, putting the letter in the top drawer of my bedside table as she joins me on the bed.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I think I am. Just difficult hearing that someone you thought cared about you, even loved you, so he claims, could hurt you like Noah did.”
She nods, as though agreeing, but I get the feeling she doesn’t agree.
I nudge her. “Go on, you can say what’s on your mind, Star.”
Turning to face me with her knee up on the bed. “I just think it’s unfair to right him off for one mistake. He never meant to fall in love with you, Roxy. And I think he regrets hurting you, right?”
“Yeah, I guess. And I’m not completely blameless. I shouldn’t have allowed business and pleasure to mix.”
“Ha-ha, like with Maddox and Zak. I see that’s really working out for you.” She laughs.
