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ChapterOne
It’s almost 11p.m. and I thought I’d timed my return perfectly to avoid notice from as many people as possible. That was a big fat fail, and I’ve only been back in town thirty minutes. Half of that time was spent sitting in my car debating on whether to go in or turn around.
“Kennedy, is that you?”
Fuck!
I spin round and come face to face with Everly West, neighbor and one-time best friend.
“It’s me,” I say in a ta-dah voice and waving my hands. The smile is fake too. Everly’s surprise at seeing me is anything but.
“What…I…You’re back?” she stammers, before launching herself at me and wrapping me up in something close to a damn bear hug. I stand stock still, arms trapped at my sides and wondering what the hell is going on.
“Er…Everly, I can’t breathe,” I tell her through gritted teeth and attempting to hold on to what little breath I have left.
“Oh, shit, sorry,” she says, releasing me and stepping back. “I’m just so surprised to see you. Your mom never mentioned you were coming home.” She poses it like a statement but really it’s a question. She’s wondering why my mom never told her mom I was returning to Silverbell.
“That’ll be because I never told Mom I was coming back.” I pull my suitcase from the trunk, then slam it shut and lock my car. It’s a heap of junk but gets me where I need to be. Silverbell wasn’t on the list of destinations I planned to be driving to.
“You mean she doesn’t know you’re here either?” she questions seemingly even more surprised, and I get the impression it’s not the good kind.
“Nope,” I say, popping the ‘p’ and grabbing the handle of my suitcase ready to wheel it up the drive. “I thought I’d surprise her.” I turn away and begin walking to the front door.
“It’ll certainly be that,” Everly mutters under her breath as she follows along behind. “How long you staying for?”
“Look, Everly, when I know what my future plans are, I’ll be sure to drop you a memo. Right now, I need a shower to wash the hours on the road off and then fall into bed.” Her eyes widen at my short, sharp reply, and she steps back.
Was it unfair? Yes, probably.
Do I care right now? No, not really.
“Wow! You’ve been gone for six years without so much as a damn text in that whole time and no explanation and this is how you greet your oldest friend. Yeah, I think I’ll pass on the rest of this conversation. Night, Kennedy.” She walks back down the drive, to a car parked at the side of the road. Before she gets in, she turns back to me. “Oh, and good luck in there.”
“What the hell does that mean, Everly?” She unlocks the car and climbs in. “Everly,” I whisper yell to her again as she shuts the door, but she doesn’t even look my way before driving off.
My arrival back to Silverbell is going oh so well. Let’s see if my reunion with my mom is any better.
Dragging the suitcase behind me, I find the key under the same pot it’s always been under and roll my eyes. Good to see some things just don’t change.
Slotting the key in the door, I unlock it and step inside. The hall is dark, and I almost trip over something that was never there before. I get my phone out and put the torch on rather than switching the main lights on and risk waking my mom.
As I pan the phone around, I can see that quite a lot has changed in the last six years. Where the bench that my dad and brother built together used to be is now some fancy console table with a glass dish containing keys and a vase of flowers. Stepping further into the house, I see the living room has had a makeover, the kitchen too. In fact, as I look around more, the house looks nothing like I remember it. Aside from the key being under the same pot for the last twenty odd years, I’d be forgiven for thinking I’d stepped into the wrong house.
I always knew that coming back here would be painful, but I never really considered how much things might have changed, and I definitely underestimated just how much it would hurt to be in this house without my dad and brother. But as I look around, there is very little of Nolan here at all, and even less of my dad.
A wave of sadness washes over me, and before I can even take a breath, tiredness follows almost wiping me out. Lowering my phone, not wishing to see anymore, I quietly trudge back to my suitcase, pick it up and climb the stairs.
I try not to look at the pictures hung on the wall as I pass them. They are the single thing I’ve seen so far that indicates my brother ever lived here, ever existed.
Not wanting to make any more noise and risk waking my mom, I carry the suitcase to my room—what used to be my room. I’ve no idea what to expect given the rest of the house.
Gripping the handle, I open the door, giving it a gentle push to reveal the room beyond. Searching for the light on the wall, I give it a flick once I find it and bathe the room in a muted light.
It’s still a bedroom, that’s something at least. There’s a double bed with deep blue bedding and matching curtains and the walls are painted cream. The small walk-in closet is all but empty except for several hangers and a couple of shoe boxes on the top shelf.
I quickly strip out of my clothes and find my nightshirt, deciding to forgo the shower till the morning, and then climb into bed. I lie still staring up at the ceiling for twenty minutes with no sign of sleep despite feeling exhausted. Now I need to pee. Climbing from the bed, I sneak out and down the hall to the bathroom. Slipping inside, I don’t bother with the light and quickly relieve myself. I’m almost sure I hear snoring coming from my mom’s room as I pass, but when I pause to listen, it’s gone. I must be more tired than I thought.
Back in bed, I finally find sleep an hour later, but it’s not restful and is plagued by dreams, all far from pleasant.
