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Bile rises in my throat at the idea of bringing a child into this sick and twisted world for the most vile woman to try to control, let alone with a man who despises me. Besides, unreasonable though it may be, I am unwilling to taint our single night together any further for him. If it becomes important later, I will mention it, but it isn’t yet.
“So you were content to marry and bed and betray a man without so much as an explanation?”
A bitter chuckle escapes my lips, but he doesn’t bother to wait for my answer.
“And then what? You were just going to disappear?” He pauses for my response this time.
“No,” I say quietly.
This is coming too close to things I refuse to reveal to him, promises or not. I will die before I tell him what I did for him and have him meet that confession with disbelief and disdain. I couldn’t bear it.
“Then what was the plan?”
“Madame plays her cards close to her chest,” I hedge, trying to give him enough of the truth that he doesn’t press me on the rest. “She didn’t give me a long-term plan, really, but I assume she wanted me to stay until she could take control of Jokith for herself.”
He stands quickly, his entire body thrumming with anger as he paces the room. Khijhana moves between us, either sensing danger to me or reflecting my own misgivings.
“So, you were going to give her the rose and just come back, pretending nothing happened? Just pretend to care about my people, or me? You are a rather gifted liar after all, how long would you have been able to share my bed while digging your knife deeper--”
“I didn’t plan on coming back at all!” I spit back at him, cutting him off mid-sentence.
He freezes in his tracks.
Sands.
He doesn’t address my statement. Instead, his eyes narrow and he takes a seat on the armchair, his knee bouncing slightly.
“So you were willing to take the rose on her order, but not to return when she wanted you to?”
“Correct.” The word is hardly a whisper, and I silently beg him not to ask me why. He doesn’t. What he asks is worse than that.
“What does she have over you?” His voice is quieter this time. Like a rusted blade instead of a sharpened sword -- still painful, just not quite as lethal.
This time, I have an out.
“That isn’t relevant.”
“Is it your sisters?”
“They are also not relevant to the wellbeing of your people,” I snap. “And if you want my cooperation, you would do well to never mention them again.”
The words flow from my lips on a promise. I would protect them with my dying breath. I nearly did.
The gears turn in his head, and I know more questions are coming that I won’t be able to answer, about them, about why I let Madame control me, about how I know the alchemist, or about my earlier statement which indicated that I planned to die...
I take advantage of his silence to stall a while.
“Speaking of plans, I have a question for you now,” I tell him. He makes a vaguely disbelieving sound in the back of his throat, but I forge ahead. “What do you intend to do with me once you’ve exhausted my stores of information? Will I be dead in truth, then?”
“Why?” he fires back. “Do you want me to finish what you started with the dragon?”
The room goes silent, and my breath hitches.
“I prefer to face my death head-on.”
He blinks before giving me the same kind of non-answer I gave him.
“We have plenty of time before that happens.” A roundabout way to say he hasn’t decided yet.
