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“Of course.” His gaze doesn’t leave mine, like he knows that tether between us is a lifeline for me when I am adrift in a churning, tumultuous sea.
Finally, I force myself to break the contact, turning to the bathing chamber.
I stay under the hot water for as long as I can bear it, letting the scalding stream wash away the sweat from our sparring and the torrent of emotion that managed to crawl its way out of my soul. I scrub every inch of my body until my flesh is as red and as raw as the rest of me feels.
When I turn the water off, the door cracks open just enough for Einar to pass me one of his oversized shirts. When I take the shirt, I allow my fingers to linger on his, needing to feel something solid and tangible and real.
“Thank you,” I say quietly.
He gently squeezes my hand in acknowledgment before closing the door to allow me to dress. When I finally come out of the bathing chamber, there is a tray of my favorite food waiting on the bed.
“I thought you might be hungry.” The words are simple, but I hear the ones he spoke earlier when I look into his earnest eyes.
“I want you.”
My chest tightens, and I glance away, nodding my thanks. He walks past me toward the privy with a fresh towel and some night clothes, for a change.
Khijha purrs from the foot of the bed, licking her paws clean of her own supper.
I scratch her head before climbing into the bed, wrapping myself in the warm blankets. I am only a few bites into the fruit and roasted fish before my eyelids feel heavy, and I can barely fight the exhaustion that’s been building for hours.
Setting the tray on the nightstand, I curl up on the pillow, letting the soothing sound of running water lull me to sleep.
My peace is short-lived, because the dreams are worse than usual tonight, like my breakdown earlier unlocked the cell where I keep my demons caged away, and now they have free reign to invade my mind at will.
Tremors rack my body until heat settles in behind me. Khijhana is even warmer than usual. I cling to her steady comfort, barely noticing the way it seems to wrap itself all the way around me tonight, and slowly, my nightmares fade away.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Zaina
Idream of my childhood in the Eastern Lands, the sun shining on my bronze skin. It’s safe and warm, like I’m cocooned in someone’s arms…
My spine goes rigid, putting the slightest bit of distance between Einar’s body and mine. Does he realize he is fused against me, his muscled bicep serving as my makeshift pillow?
Will he be upset when he does?
Though his uneven breathing tells me he is already awake. I don’t move, unwilling to make things more awkward by sinking further into him or offend him by moving away.
Then, his voice sounds in my ear, his breath warm on my cheek. “I have one more question to ask you.”
Panic surges through me, though I should have known this was coming. I nod, trying to brace myself for whatever piece of my soul he will ask me to offer up today.
“What’s achutiya?” His question is so wholly unexpected that I choke on my response.
His chuckle rumbles from his chest to my back, and I turn to see his curious expression, sending me into a full-throated laugh. Of course, he asks about the fairly vulgar insult I threw at him. In fairness, he had been acting like one.
“You can look that one up for yourself.” I’m not about to tell him what it means. I’m not even certain what the precise literal translation is, but I wish I could be there to see his face when he finds out.
I bite my lip to keep from laughing again, the feeling so at odds with the heavy tones of a moment ago. He swallows, his eyes following the movement. Something inside of me stirs in response, and I almost tilt my face toward him before I remember the way yesterday ended.
This truce of ours is still new and undefined, and I’m not prepared for that kind of rejection again. But Einar is the one who takes in my heated expression and leans down.
He moves so, so slowly, giving me every opportunity to back away. I don’t. My breath mingles with his in the small space, and heat surges through me.
Just before our lips are about to meet, a light rap at the door startles me.
“Breakfast, Your Majesty.” Leif’s familiar voice comes through the door.
