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“Do you know why I chose you all those years ago?” Her voice is a double-edged sword.
My breaths are too shallow, tendrils of fear creeping up my spine.
“Because I was good at blending in.” I repeat back what she’s told me more than once.
“No.” The word is clipped. “Because even when you were caught, you didn’t back down. You didn’t backpedal. You never once gave up your lie. But do you remember what I told you that day?”
I’m numb. I can barely form the answer. “That lying was a good skill to have, as long as I never again used it on you.”
She stares at me, her icy gaze boring straight through me.
“Yes. And in the eight years that followed, I never had to remind you again. Until now.”
My heartbeat thunders in my ears and my vision swims.Air.I need air, but I can’t seem to breathe, let alone form a response or an excuse.
Is she talking about more than my dance? Did Damian tell her about the fires?
If he did, there is no doubt in my mind that this is it for me, that she is finally going to replace me the way she did Rose.
Something in her expression shifts, though, and she lets out a long sigh.
“I have been indulgent with you because I know that you were fond of Zaina.”
Loved her, you mean.But I don’t dare let that thought show on my face.
“I am sure that the visit from the barbarian she married piqued your curiosity, and I can see why you would be reluctant to admit your distraction on such an important mission.” Her unyielding tone is at odds with the sentiment. “That is why I have decided to be lenient, this one time.”
She pauses, and I belatedly realize why. Swallowing back the emotions threatening to suffocate me, I give her a deep bow of my head, trying not to actually crumple with relief.
She doesn’t know about the fires.
“Thank you, Mother. I am… truly sorry. I was ashamed of letting my emotions get the better of me, when you’ve devoted so much time to teaching me better than that.” I stop before I lay it on too thick, peeking a glance at her.
She appears to be satisfied, though. In fact, she steps closer, placing a hand on my arm.
“It’s possible that I was harder on Zaina than I needed to be, at times.” Her voice is quiet, her violet eyes brimming with something I can’t decipher.
For the first time, it occurs to me that perhaps I’m not the only one who suspects Zaina of maneuvering her way to that cave.
Then Mother shakes off whatever mood overtook her, an icy calm defining her features once more. “But, Aika?”
“Yes, Mother?” I breathe.
“The next time you lie to me will be the last. I have no use for traitors in my family.”
“Of course,” I say quickly. “It won’t happen again.”
“I know it won’t.” Threat laces her tone, and my heart drops into my stomach.
She might be allowing me to live, but there is no chance she will let this go unpunished. It only remains to be seen what form herdisciplinewill take this time.
She dismisses me with an imperious wave of her hand.
As soon as I close the door to her room, the panic that has been chasing me all evening, ever since the moment I figured out that Francis was Remy, begins clawing at my chest.
In a sea of tenuous and intangible truths, I am certain of only one thing.
I wish Zaina was here.
