AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He looks up at me with such fathomless remorse in his eyes that I am hit with a fresh wave of self-loathing for forcing him to relive the moment of his castle's downfall.
"Not for lack of trying," he mutters. "It was the day of the midwinter feast that I caught them. She told me she would leave quietly while everyone was preparing for that night. I thought she was protecting him. What Odger had done was punishable by death, but not without dragging her into it as well. I should have known she would never give up that easily."
He shakes his head, and I can tell he hasn't forgiven himself, even after all these years. Another thing we have in common, I suppose.
"For that matter, I should have seen how little she cared for anyone but herself. But I was so anxious to be finished with the whole affair, so I let her go.
"In the weeks she had spent here, we had dined every night in the hall together with my courtiers and staff, as was my father's custom, eating and drinking from the same table. She despised it, of course."
I can only imagine.
"She put it in the wine?" I guess.
"And the water," he adds. "But midwinter feast is the one time a year where I don't eat at the same time as my people, or before them. I wait until they are finished eating to get my own plate and drink. It's symbolic, putting their needs before mine."
He pauses, lost in the memory.
"To this day, I don't know if she knew that. If she was trying to punish me by inflicting something on my people that I was unable to protect them from, knowing how I feel about them.
“Or if it was an oversight, if it was only timing or a flair for the dramatic that made her choose that night and she was unaware that I would not be partaking." He lets out a huff of frustration.
I wish I could help, but truthfully, I'm not sure, either. Even if I was, I could hardly tell him without explaining my connection to her.
Madamehad gleefully passed along stories of what a beast the king was, but she never offered any insights of her own, never indicating for a moment that she knew him personally. It's not surprising, since she hoards each of her precious secrets like a single drop of water in the center of an endless desert.
“In hindsight,” he interrupts my thoughts. “I see that she must have been plotting it all along, at least as a back-up plan. She never could have gotten it together so quickly, otherwise. Part of me even wonders if she wanted me to find her with Odger, to blame myself for putting it in motion.”
Another question I can’t answer, though I wouldn’t put it past her. The woman deceives as easily as she breathes. There is nothing solid I can tell him.
What's worse, though, is realizing how many more unanswered questions I will leave him with when I go.
He seems to have lost himself in his thoughts again. I speak to pull him out of his reverie.
"And this?" I ease my hand out of his and move it back toward his chest. This time, he allows it, though his gaze carefully follows the movement of my fingers.
“This," he says, entwining our fingers together around the key. "Is all the hope we have left."
I hadn't fallen asleep until well after the king, but I still wake before he does.
My subconscious has clearly indulged in every craving my conscious mind denies, fusing my body so closely against his that I can hardly tell where one of us begins and the other ends. I am warmer than I have been since I arrived in this place, maybe warmer than I have been since I was taken from home all those years ago.
I gently disentangle myself, yawning and stretching my limbs. I open my eyes to find Einar's appreciative gaze on me. I'm sure I don't mistake the hungry look I find there, but before either of us can act on it, my stomach growls with an entirely different sort of hunger.
I let out a small laugh, but he looks at me with concern.
"When was the last time you ate anything?"
I am so used to going without meals that I haven't honestly thought about it, but I'm not about to explain to him, so I just shrug.
"On the ride back yesterday?" I guess.
He frowns, and I try not to be disappointed when he rolls out of bed. He strides to the door, opening it a couple of inches to speak to whoever is on the other side. I catch the word breakfast before Khijhana interrupts him, putting her nose in the space and shoving the door open wide enough to allow for her frame.
I appreciate Einar's attempts at discretion, but they will certainly know I slept in here now. Though, why I should care when we are husband and wife is beyond me.
"She needs to go outside," I call quietly to the slightly bewildered-looking king. "Usually one of my guards does it," I offer.
He blinks a couple of times, and then nods and finishes his brief conversation before closing the door and coming back to me.
