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I nod. “I remembered you saying she had belonged to your wife. It seemed unlikely that rather than protecting you from a potential threat, she was concerned about a random courtier in your bed.”
Again, Zaina’s eyes flash, and I wonder if all the women in this family are this territorial.
But that thought leads me to places I don’t want to go right now, thoughts of whether perhaps I’m the territorial one in our relationship, if my reaction to Aika’s wearing my kingdom’s colors tonight is anything to go by.
I steal another glance at her, the way the crimson dress makes her eyes look even darker, her lips painted perfectly to match. For all that we had argued about it earlier, I can’t deny that she looks every inch a Corentine princess, even with her scowl and the monkey in her lap.
She looks like she belongs to me, even though I know she never will.
CHAPTERTWENTY-SEVEN
AIKA
Ifeel Remy’s gaze on me, but I’m too tired to interpret what it might mean. Instead, I focus on the potential implications of his uncovering that Zai was alive.
We debate at length how likely it is that someone else will notice the same things he did, and I reluctantly admit that it’s unlikely. Remy picks up on things few people do.
Einar doesn’t look mollified.
If anything, he looks at my sister with more thinly veiled aggravation than I’ve ever seen him direct her way. I almost feel guilty for mentioning the Damian issue until I remember the sheer volume of things she has overshared with Remy.
Still, when she gets up to go to her room with a vague excuse about fetching more tonics for me, I go as well, setting the monkey on the sofa. Remy has started talking with Einar about the palace security, but his eyes follow me as I leave. So do the monkey’s, but he is quickly distracted by Khijhana’s curious nuzzle.
At least she seems to have abandoned her thoughts of making him a midnight snack.
Shutting the door behind me, I help myself to a spot on the large bed. Fatigue settles in my bones, the adrenaline from my Damian sighting ebbing away, and I sink back against the headboard.
My sister gives no outward sign that she’s disturbed by the news I brought, that she’s thinking about it at all, but her movements are just a hair too precise as she loads a small leather case full of tonics.
I raise my eyebrow when she adds a familiar dark brown vial. Contraceptive tonic. Does she know what Madame has asked of me? She must assume, since she was sent with the same mission.
“Does Einar know?” I find myself asking. “What she wanted from you?”
I don’t need to clarify any further. She shakes her head, lacing up the satchel and setting it on the table.
“It didn’t seem…relevant to mention it.” Her lips twitch upward, and I get the feeling there’s a story there.
“Like it didn’t seem relevant to explain Damian?” I prod.
There’s a small, petty part of me that’s happy I’m not the only one she keeps secrets from. I expect her to get defensive, but my sister surprises me by crawling into the bed next to me.
The movement is graceful, like everything Zaina does, but there’s something tired and almost vulnerable in it as well, especially when she leans her side against mine.
“Einar is as understanding as he can be, but it gets exhausting, having to constantly explain just how twisted our lives were, to drive home the point of how damaged I am now.”
I look over at her sharply. Perhaps she has been suffocating under the weight of her secrets, after all.
“Well,” I nudge her with my shoulder, “if you’re damaged, I’m afraid to think what that says about me.”
She eases back against the headboard, letting out another sigh.
“I understand why you can’t go against her, you know.” The low timbre of her voice is soothing, even as she shocks me twice in as many minutes.
“You do?” I ask skeptically.
“I remember the good things, too.” Her tone is almost wistful. “Sometimes, I think that’s the worst part. That the same woman who is responsible for every horrible thing in my life also taught me nearly everything I know, gave me nearly everything I have. That the same woman who put Damian in my life also put you and Mel and even Einar there.”
I don’t know how to process everything she’s saying, not when it hits so close to home. Not when she’s finally being human and real with me instead of just my perfect older sister.
