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"If it was yesterday, I'd probably say something like, how do you think? Now I have no desire to say that. The truth is, I'm not sure how I am, except my butt hurts like hell, and I certainly feel like I've been punished. I was just lying here thinking how I didn't feel any anger from you, just a determination to discipline me for what I'd done. Is that the right word? Determination?"
"I'd say that word is as good as any. Desire maybe. Obligation and responsibility fit as well."
"I am emotional. I want to curl up against you and have you hold me and never let me go, but I guess that can't happen yet, or can it?"
"It can absolutely happen, and It will," he said softly. "There is more to come, but I'm very proud of you. I'm especially proud of everything you've just said."
Reaching for the blanket at the bottom of the bed, he stretched out next to her and covered them both.
"I don't want you getting cold," he murmured, wrapping her up in his arms. "Brittany, I do love how you feel in my arms."
"Duncan!"
"That surprises you?"
"It surprises me to hear you say it."
"Why?"
"I'm not sure. Maybe because I didn't expect you to be so open about your feelings."
"Haven't I already been open about my feelings?"
"Yes, but they were, uh, different."
"Feelings are feelings. I expressed my disappointment and anger, and now I'm expressing how much I adore you. I'll always do my best to tell you what's going on with me, and I expect the same from you, but now it's time to rest, my beautiful Brittany."
"Not your bratty Brittany?"
"Not right now. Right now you're my beautiful Brittany."
"Can I ask you one last thing?"
"Just one."
"Why am I like this? Why are you the way you are?"
"That's a question that has been asked a thousand times by a thousand people, men and women alike," he said with a heavy sigh. "There's no single answer, and there's no easy answer. Human sexuality, the human psyche, is complex. I've stopped wondering. I've just accepted who I am and the way I am."
"But you were right about why I do some of the things I do."
"You are very spoiled, but you're also very smart. I'll bet you figured out how to get what you wanted when you were just a little girl."
"You're right. My mother would be the one who would scold me and want to punish me, but all I had to do was go to my father and tell him how sorry I was. If I cried a bit that would be the end of any potential punishment."
"And your boyfriends?"
"My boyfriends? Oh, good grief. I don't know why, but every guy I've dated has been scared of me."
"Scared of you, or scared of losing you?"
"How do you know this stuff?"
"Life," he said with a soft chuckle. "The best and cruelest teacher."
"I think you're right. Scared of losing me. Honestly, I don't know why men don't get it. Why can't they take a stand. I got so sick and tired of hearing whatever you want, whatever makes you happy. That's all well and good, but after a while it gets boring."
"I'm sure they meant well, and you can be quite fearsome. Not every man is going to put their girlfriend over their knee. They might want to, but it's not PC."
