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“I noticed.”
He sighed. “I came tonight to talk to you and the guys about that, and I will. Right now, let’s talk about what’s bothering you. What happened in there?”
Was he being honest? He really came to talk things out? I hoped that was true. I hated when there was tension between us. I knew he wouldn’t talk to me until I went, so I pulled away from him to see his reaction and know for myself whether he was in on this too.
I told him about the list and how Luca responded, remembering to add that Skyler and Noah knew what was going on which was why I thought he was in on it as well.
“Ave, no. They didn’t tell me anything about that. I only know about the training you’ve been doing with my mom.”
I relaxed, seeing the truth in his eyes. “I told Luca the other day that I felt like I was losing control and being pulled in too many directions by other people who aren’t straight with me, but he didn’t tell me he was another one. He just gave me the list like it was something everyone had to do. He lied to my face. I shook my head, “I don’t understand. Why are they working against me? Why don’t they want me to meet the rest of the chapter here? Why did Vince lie to the two guys we ran into?”
Gavin’s brows shot up. “Who?”
“Aaron and Sam?”
“Sean,” Gavin corrected, staring straight ahead as if thinking it through. “I forgot you met them.”
“You said you guys would explain soon.” I paused, giving him the chance to explain, but he didn’t open his mouth. “Why are you guys really stopping me from meeting anyone? Are you guys ashamed of me? Is it because I didn’t grow up in the Society? I know I’m behind, but I can’t catch up if none of you help me.”
He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “It’s not that, Ave.”
“Then what is it?” I was at the end of my rope, out of patience, and ready to leave.
“They’re competitive,” he mumbled.
“If one of you says that word one more time to describe them, I’m going to lose it. What does that even mean? It’s not like we’re on a sports team. There are no prizes or awards I’m aware of.”
“It’s not like that.” He mumbled something else under his breath, but I didn’t hear. “The girls in our chapter are . . . intense. They think they have some sort of claim over us. When they find out that the five of us are in a relationship with you, they’re going to freak out. Not in a simple high school drama way either. Our parents will be involved, the council, most of the chapter actually.”
“Why?” That made no sense. Why would anyone care that we were dating?
“Because of the imbalance in the Society. There are only two girls in high school in our entire area and eight guys. If, I mean when, they find out that we’ve known you since the beginning of the school year they’re going to be pissed. They’ll think we were hording you for ourselves. They’ll think it’s unfair that we didn’t let you meet them first.”
“Why didn’t you?” I needed to know that more than hearing about their past drama.
“Honestly?”
I narrowed my eyes. “No, please lie.”
He frowned. “Sorry. It’s kind of embarrassing to admit, but we were all scared. We didn’t know how you would feel about them. What if you met one of them and things clicked for you? How could we compare to a normal life that being with just one of them could provide? We were being selfish.”
“You think that little of me? That my feelings are that fragile? That I don’t––” I almost said love but caught myself, “care about each of you?”
He shrugged. “It started out that way, and then the longer we went without introducing you, the bigger deal it became. I know it was wrong, but that’s the truth.”
“You shouldn’t have taken that choice away from me.” I stared down at my lap. We’ve had this conversation before, but now I knew they were actively working against me to delay us meeting. “They could have been really helpful. Maybe I could get along with the girls.” I sighed. “You all know how lonely I’ve been. I know I have you guys, but I’ve told you how much I wish I had a girlfriend. It should be up to me.”
“You’re right.” His voice was so quiet now. “I’m sorry, Ave.”
I didn’t want to forgive him, any of them. I was so sick and tired of people making decisions for me. Even if they’re right, I should have some control over what happens. I should have the chance to meet the rest of the Society. To ask questions and get answers from different sources.
Unless . . .
Maybe that was exactly why they kept me away.
I looked to Gavin, praying I was wrong. “I want to be alone.”
He watched me for a moment before nodding and getting out. As soon as he shut the door, I pulled away from the curb and headed to my grandparent’s house.
