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Her heart clogged in her throat, pounding through her. He’d treated her like a virginal nun while she was pregnant, tiptoeing around her as if she might break. Sexy? He’d never, not once, made her believe he saw her that way. She’d assumed once he scratched her off his list of conquests, he’d moved on.
She swallowed. “Still. I’d like some time to consider.”
“Overthink.”
“What?”
“You said consider. You meant overthink. Maybe back out completely.” Damn, he knew her too well.
“I won’t,” she totally lied.
“Promise?”
She wanted to say yes immediately, but because he did know her too well he’d spot the lie. “Ryan, this is a huge step. Sex isn’t something . . . I take sex seriously.”
“You think I just woke up this morning and said, ‘I think I’ll try to have sex with Cassie today’?” He played absently with her ponytail again, slipping his fingers through the dark brown waterfall.
“No. I think you fell and hit your head and woke up and thought ‘I’ll try to have sex with Cassie today,’” she replied dryly.
He flashed a grin, his dimples caving, and his eyes squinting. The sight was beautiful.
“I’ve wanted you for years. Before Ellie. After Ellie.”
Her heart almost stopped, but he kept talking.
“You’re so beautiful and sexy and smart and funny. I want to unwrap you for Christmas.” Although he still smiled, he’d turned serious.
Taking his face in her hands, she forced him to meet her eyes. “This isn’t a pity lay?”
“Hell no.” He tried to pull away.
“And it won’t change anything?” she demanded.
He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing down and back up. Ryan was about to tell a lie. After all these years, she’d learned the signs.
“Of course not.”
He lied. They both knew it. Sleeping together would change everything just as it had the first time. But did it have to be for worse?
Chapter Ten
Ryan stepped out of the shower and looked down at his bobbing dick. The damn thing had been at least half-hard since Cassie had made that comment about using a vibrator. Since she left today, he hadn’t been able to think about anything except having her again. He’d hoped washing the smell of her off his skin would help. Instead the shower had given him too much space to think about the one night he’d had her. Now, his hard-on raged again.
He fisted his dick, giving it a quick stroke. Earlier today, he’d wanted Cassie’s hand on him just like this. Instead, he’d come in his pants like some inexperienced punk. If he kept doing that, she’d never want to sleep with him. Of course, she’d always reduced him to a fumbling amateur, which explained why he was climbing into his lonely bed and dialing her number.
“Hello. Ryan?” She sounded out of breath, her voice low and slightly labored.
“Cassie? Are you okay?”
“Of course, I am. Is something wrong with Ellie?”
“Ellie? Why would anything be wrong with Ellie?”
“You called. I thought something was wrong.” Her breathing eased.
“Can I not just call you without there being a problem?”
She didn’t reply, and in her silence, he could hear the rustle of sheets.
