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Cassie stared back at him from the other side of the counter. “Did you hear me?” Her voice had lost some of its bravado. “I’m pregnant. I’m . . . I’m having a baby.”
He nodded, trying to pretend his heart wasn’t breaking a little. Cassie had never truly been his, but now she never would be. She and Levi would be tied together forever by this little life they’d created.
“I don’t expect anything from you. I know you didn’t ask for this either, but I’m keeping it and that’s not up for discussion, so you don’t have to . . . I mean you’re free to do whatever. I haven’t told anyone it’s yours.”
Ryan’s head spun. “The baby’smine?” Holy shit!
Cassie stared back at him, then slowly nodded.
“You’re sure?” As soon as the words left his mouth, he cringed. If Cassie said the baby was his, the baby was his. “I’m sorry I just thought maybe you and Levi had worked things out and . . .”
“No. I’m sure. I’m sorry, Ryan. I was on birth control, but I had had a sinus infection and well, they say antibiotics make the pill less effective, but I wasn’t thinking. I know you didn’t ask for this. It was my fault. I’m not asking you to do anything. I’ve got this, I—”
“Are you serious?” Had she just apologized for him getting her pregnant? Maybe if he didn’t know Cassie better, he might be able to believe she’d somehow planned this or tricked him, but even then he doubted his first inclination would ever be to blame the woman pregnant with his child. Besides, this was Cassie, she didn’t have a manipulative bone in her oh so perfect body.
“I am.” She heaved a sigh, her shoulders sagging in complete surrender. “I just never thought this would actually happen, you know? But don’t worry, you’re completely off the hook. You can keep travelling and working, I’ve got everything taken care of. I won’t bother you for anything.”
Each apologetic word from her downturned mouth sent another dagger into his heart. “You don’t want me to be a part of this with you? You want me to just pretend this child isn’t mine?” Could he even do that?Hell no. And he’d thought Cassie knew him well enough to know that.
Her mouth opened and closed without sound. He’d finally rendered her speechless. It had only taken him twenty-years.
“You didn’t ask for this,” she finally whispered.
True. Neither of them had. “You didn’t either.”
“But I . . .” she swallowed and started again. “But I want it.” Tears filled her blue eyes and her hand cradled her barely rounded belly.
“You think I don’t?” She must not if she was banishing him from the kid’s life before his new reality even had a chance to set in.
Her lips twisted as she tried to hold back the tears that were one blink away from spilling over her lashes. “Your life’s bigger than this. I won’t keep you here.”
Bigger thanthis? Bigger than creating a life with the only woman he’d ever wanted for his very own? He couldn’t imagine a life that big.
“I want to be a part of this, Cass. I want to be a part of everything.”
She blinked and the tears plopped on to her flushed cheeks. She shook her head.
“Yes, I do.” He took a deep breath. “We could get married.”
Her mouth fell open, then she started choking. “M…married? You and me?”
Admittedly that hadn’t been the smoothest proposal, but he’d still expected a different reaction. “Yeah. We’re having a kid. We could get married, live together, and raise the kid together.”
Her steely blue gaze met his. He hated when she did this. Her stares didn’t just touch on his face or his eyes. They penetrated, rooting out secrets he kept even from himself. He squirmed under her perusal, but he wouldn’t look away. If Cassie was looking for something to convince her he was in this with her, that he would go to the ends of Hell for her, he’d make sure she saw it shining back at her. Finally, her gaze shifted to his left shoulder.
“No. Absolutely not. I don’t . . . I don’t want to marry you, Ryan.”
His heart plummeted. “But Cassie—”
“No. Don’t ask me again. Ever.” Her gaze flashed back to his, before again darting away. “I can’t stop you from being a part of this, if that’s what you want, but the last thing I’ll ever want is to get married.”
“Six months ago you were engaged,” he reminded her.
“Yeah, to Levi. What do you even know about being in a real relationship?” She shook her head so hard, he wondered if she was trying to erase the question from her memory. Finally, she stopped and glared at him. “The two of us will never happen, Ryan. If you want this to work, if you really want us to do this civilly, forget anything ever happened between us, because it will never happen again.”
He opened his mouth to protest, but the quick flare of something slightly threatening in her eyes made him clamp his lips together. “Okay.” If she didn’t want him, fine. He could find women who wanted him. He’d found plenty of them over the last six months as he’d tried to fuck her out of his system. Just because sex with those women hadn’t come within miles of sex with Cassie, didn’t mean someday he wouldn’t find someone who did.
Right?
