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No, it didn’t. It came reflexively. Like so many other things in her life lately. She was living by rote, which wasn’t really living at all.
She turned to the window. Yesterday the old woman had told her when she was ready to have sex again, she’d know. Did that apply to everything else in her life? Would she just know when it was time to stop mourning? When it was time to enjoy life again? Because sitting here beside Seth, staring out at the sea of lush green foliage as they passed, she thought she just might be ready to have some fun.
* * *
“This does not look like fun.”
Seth couldn’t help but chuckle at the high pitch of Courtney’s voice as she glared up at the zip-line. “Just give it a chance. You’re going to love it.”
“Not as much as I love all my bones intact.”
He shuffled over, his harness making walking normal difficult. “Your bones will be fine. Nothing’s going to happen to them.”
“You’re a psychic? You can see what’s going to happen?” She raised both eyebrows.
Sighing, he shook his head. “I’ve done this before. They strap you in, you zip down, and you’re done. It’s super easy.”
“And dangerous. Don’t forget the super dangerous part.”
He opened his mouth to tease her again but noticed her hands were shaking. She was serious and scared. “Would you rather not do it? We could just watch, if you’d like.”
“Watch everyone else have fun?”
“Well, if all you’re saying is true about the likelihood of them breaking all their bones, we probably won’t be watching them have very much fun.”
The corner of her mouth lifted slightly. “Maybe I’m overreacting a little.”
Pursing his lips, he pretended to consider the possibility. “Maybe just a wee bit.” He held his thumb and pointer finger close together before widening them dramatically.
Courtney mock glared at him, then smacked him on the shoulder.
“Ow.” He laughed, rubbing at the slight sting. “I think my chances of not getting hurt are better up there, away from you.”
She smiled but still eyed the zip-line.
Smile melting off his face, he squeezed her shoulder. “Seriously, I didn’t even choose this excursion, you and Ashley did. So, if you want to skip this, it’s no skin off my back.”
He expected her to agree and tell him to take off the harness. Instead, she kept staring at the zip-line.
“Court.”
She flinched, then gave her head a hard shake. “This was my idea,” she whispered.
Turning, he pointed to the zip-line. “This? This wasyouridea?”
She nodded. “I’ve always wanted to try it, but now I’m thinking of all the ways I could die zip-lining.”
He shrugged. “I could definitely think of worse ways.”
Her gaze swung to his. “Like?”
“Like asleep in my bed.”
Her mouth fell open. “How could that be a worse way than plummeting into the trees?”
“I don’t know. It just seems like a waste. If I’m going to die, especially young, I want to do it doing something fun. I want to be in my happy place.”
“And this would be your happy place?”
