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I look to my mum, who is still comparing antacids, oblivious to the fact that I’ve regressed back to being a child and clearly want my mummy to come and shout at her.
‘Oh, no, nothing,’ I insist. ‘I was just joking with my sister. I wasn’t talking to you. Sorry for the mix-up.’
Wow, I’m babbling with fear, like a ticked-off child. Tragic.
‘You can’t even stand up for yourself, can you? How do you think your generation would have survived during the war, hmm?’ she asks, pausing, as though she expects an answer.
I’m briefly distracted, glancing over her shoulder, trying to work out what Jess is doing. Eventually, I realise. She’s placing boxes of condoms in the woman’s trolley.
‘Nothing cheeky to say in reply to that, have you?’ she asks me, leaning closer for a second. ‘Spineless.’
The woman turns on her heel, grabs her trolley and marches off.
I smile and laugh at Jess as we reconvene.
‘Oh, my God, I can’t believe you just did that,’ I say quietly.
‘No one is rude to my sister and gets away with it,’ she replies.
Mum eventually joins us.
‘Right, that’s it, I think we’re done,’ she declares. ‘Let’s go pay. I went for proper Rennies in the end. I didn’t want to chance it.’
‘Probably for the best,’ I joke.
Mum hands Jess the box to scan with her phone. Jess angles it carefully, lining the barcode up with her camera.
‘Oh,’ she says softly.
‘Oh?’ I repeat back to her. That doesn’t sound good.
‘What’s the matter?’ Mum asks her.
‘I think I just accidentally wiped all the shopping from the app,’ she says. ‘Well, everything but the Rennies.’
‘You think?’ I say.
‘Well, no, I definitely have,’ she replies sheepishly. ‘But it wasn’t on purpose. The scan button is right next to the button to start a new shop.’
I sigh.
‘Does that mean we need to queue and scan it all?’ Mum asks. ‘Because I need to get home. I’ve got a delivery. A surprise.’
‘Oh?’ I say nervously.
‘I need to get back and, to be honest, I could do with Jess’s help,’ she says.
‘If you guys want to get a taxi, I can queue with this stuff, and bring it back in the car?’ I suggest helpfully. The last thing I want to do is queue here, but if Mum has arranged some kind of surprise, then I don’t want to stop her.
‘Are you sure you can manage?’ Mum replies.
I look down at the overloaded trolley.
‘Yeah, definitely,’ I reply.
It won’t be easy, but I’m sure I’ll be fine.
Once Mum and Jess are gone, I consider whether I can rescan all the items in the trolley myself, but there’s just no way that’s going to be possible, there’s too much in there, and I doubt anyone would appreciate my laying it all out on the floor. I’ll just have to suck it up and join the queue. At least there’s a surprise waiting for Mum when I get home. Let’s just hope it’s a good one.
