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‘Yes,’ I eventually say.
Rocco laughs.
‘It’s like that, is it?’ he replies. ‘You’re trying to sabotage me? Well, it’s on. That’s so funny. I should have known you would come up with a fun way for us to wreak havoc here.’
Oh, he thinks this is some sort of game I’m playing, rather than a crazed act of jealousy. Well, that’s certainly preferable, I’ll lean into that.
‘I thought you might find it funny,’ I lie.
‘Game on, kid,’ he says through a smile. ‘Game on.’
Rocco heads back to the bar. I sit back down at my table.
‘Is everything okay?’ the blonde asks me.
‘The pig was actually trying to get me to have sex with him in the toilets,’ I tell her, pulling a grossed-out face. ‘Can you believe that?’
‘Eww,’ she replies.
Eventually Rocco returns with my drink.
‘Good luck with the next one,’ he tells me.
‘Yeah, you too,’ I reply through a smile.
Why is everything more fun when it feels like we’re on the same side?
My next date sits down at my table. I can see from his name badge that his name is Luke. I can see from his face that he isn’t really interested in me. At this point in the evening, I don’t think I have any self-confidence left to knock so it’s water off a duck’s back.
‘Hello,’ I say brightly. ‘Having much luck tonight?’
‘Not really,’ he replies. ‘You?’
‘Nah,’ I say casually.
‘To be honest, I’m not actually looking for anything,’ he insists. ‘I’m just here for a laugh, so I don’t want to waste your time, or stop you doing what you want to do, no judgement or anything.’
‘No judgement?’ I repeat back to him.
‘Yeah, you know, you do what you need to do, to get what you want, but I’m not interested unfortunately.’
Weirdly this is the most interested I’ve been in talking to anyone new all night.
‘And whatdoI want?’ I ask him curiously.
He leans forward and lowers his voice.
‘Sperm,’ he whispers.
I chose the wrong time to sip my drink.
‘No judgement,’ he says again. ‘But, if I were you, I wouldn’t be hitting up men at a speed dating thing, I’d go to a proper clinic and get a real donation. This is no way to start a family, love.’
I notice Rocco at the next table in the corner of my eye. As I briefly glance at him, he gives me a wink. Oh, my God, he must’ve told Luke that I’m here to get pregnant! That’s hilarious. I love that he gives as good as he gets.
The bell rings – thank God.
‘Hello, Billie,’ Tobias says with a sigh as he sits down opposite me.
