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‘Erm…’
I nod towards the floor. The magician quickly bends to pick it up.
‘You’re rubbish, mate,’ Declan tells him.
‘You guys just aren’t a very good audience,’ the magician claps back. ‘You’re too grumpy, too cynical. You need to be open-minded for magic to work, not old and jaded.’
‘Okay, why don’t you make yourself disappear,’ Jess tells him. ‘Before one of us rips you in half.’
The magician skulks off.
‘Old and jaded,’ I can’t help but repeat.
‘He’s just having a bad day,’ Mum offers up in his defence. ‘I’m sure everyone is giving him a hard time.’
‘He shouldn’t be so rude,’ Jess says.
‘It’s nearly Christmas,’ Mum reminds her. ‘Let’s give the guy a break.’
‘Just please, God, no one invite him for Christmas dinner,’ I quickly insist. ‘We’ve got a house full already.’
‘Jess said we might be having one more,’ Mum says tactfully. ‘Is that right?’
I glance at Jess, who is half-grinning, half-gurning, as she optimistically waits for my blessing to officially invite Kenny for Christmas dinner.
‘Jess was saying Kenny would be alone otherwise,’ Mum continues.
I feel like they’re playing me. Well, I know they are, trying to tug at my heartstrings, to get me to feel sorry for the guy.
‘Yeah, okay, sure, fine, whatever,’ I babble. ‘What’s one more, right?’
‘Sis, you are not going to regret this,’ Jess says excitedly. She grabs my face and gives me a big kiss on the cheek. ‘The next round of free drinks is definitely on me.’
I laugh, but then I remember my situation, the friends that are waiting for me at another table. Shit.
I look down at my drinks. Both glasses are near enough full. I doubt I can still pull off another trip to the bathroom, though, so I don’t know how many other options I have. I pick up one cocktail and knock it back like a shot – except of course it’s too big, so I have to chug it like a bottle of water on a hot day. Then I make the second one disappear. The magician could certainly learn a thing or two from me.
‘Bloody hell,’ Jess says.
‘What?’ I reply as casually as I can, of course my voice comes out like a robot’s, because I’m not a hardened drinker, and I just put away at least four measures of alcohol. ‘We’re celebrating, I’m off to get another. Back in minute.’
I really am starting to feel quite tipsy now. I keep my eyes on the floor (the one in the middle) as I make my way back to my table – my first table.
I plonk myself down inside the waltzer car.
‘Whew, the queues for the loos are crazy,’ I announce. ‘So, where were we?’
‘Where were we?’ Leila relates back to me. ‘Where were you? You’ve been ages.’
‘Just to the toilets,’ I say again. ‘I’m here now.’
I pick up my drink. I want to take a sip, to try and seem normal, but the sight of it makes me throw up in my mouth a little.
‘Is that lipstick?’ Rocco asks me.
I raise my fingers to my lips – as though I could even feel what was on them. My lipstick will be long faded by now. If it’s anything, it’s probably pink staining for the cocktail I just necked.
‘No, on your cheek,’ he says, pointing.
