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‘Okay,’ the voice calls back.
‘So, what is this amazing dessert?’ I whisper into his ear.
‘You can find out in the morning,’ he replies.
29
Sleeping in the bed in Rocco’s hotel room is much better than sleeping on the sofa. I don’t know what kind of mattress it is, but it seems to shape around your body. The sheets do an excellent job of keeping you warm, but somehow nice and cool at the same time, oh, and Rocco is here too, which is nice.
‘How did you sleep?’ he asks me.
‘For about an hour,’ I reply. ‘Same as you.’
Right on cue, he yawns.
‘It was worth it, though,’ he says. ‘Happy Christmas Eve.’
‘I can’t believe it’s Christmas Eve already,’ I reply.
‘Not much longer to go,’ he says. ‘Then you won’t have to avoid your family much longer. It will be back to work, back to real life.’
He laughs as he says this, but something hits me.
‘You know what, taking a step back from them, spending time with you, being happy… I suddenly don’t care all that much about it and, to be honest, I’m weirdly looking forward to Christmas.’
‘That’s a good attitude to have,’ he replies, giving me a squeeze. ‘I think perhaps I should take a little of your advice too.’
I cuddle up closer to him, resting my head on his chest.
‘I don’t want to bethatgirl, but can I bethat girlfor a moment?’ I ask him.
‘Uh-oh,’ he jokes. ‘Go on, go for it.’
‘This project you’ve been offered, the local one,’ I start. ‘Do you think you’ll take it?’
‘I’d been on the fence about it,’ he replies. ‘I wasn’t sure whether or not a move back here was the right choice for me, but what you said may have just swayed me. A bit of time back home with the family might do me some good.’
I can’t control my grin.
‘I only ask because I was pretty upset last night to not get the marvellous, magical, best dessert ever that you promised me,’ I reply.
‘It might still be on the floor, outside the door,’ he replies. I can’t see his face, but I can hear his smile.
‘I think I’ve earned a fresh one,’ I inform him. ‘Would it work for breakfast?’
‘Well, it’s Christmas Eve, we’ve both got places to be,’ he starts. ‘So you’ve got two choices. We can get up and have dessert for breakfast or we spend all the time we’ve got this morning here, in bed. But then of course you’ll have to come back here another day for the dessert. My vote is for bed, but do you mind coming back?’
‘Oh, I’ll definitely come back,’ I reply. ‘Bed it is.’
30
I think I’ve made a decent effort at filling my pre-Christmas free time with so many things, given that my friends are on holiday and I didn’t have much notice. If I haven’t been at the events, I’d have been hiding in my bedroom, spending minimal time with the others in the house. But it is Christmas Eve, and there is no one I’d rather spend Christmas Eve with than my mum and Jess, it’s a May family tradition. We might have some extra guests this year, but I’m not about to let that ruin tradition.
We’re all in the living room. After spending time apart to wrap presents, Mum, Jess and I are gathered around the island making gingerbread men. Dad and Gail are at the dining room table, setting up a board game, and Declan is on the sofa watching TV. I glance over at him right as he reaches down into his trackies and gives himself a good scratch. I don’t think he quite knows what to do with himself, since I spelled things out to him yesterday. I don’t know why I feel bad, because he is the one who walked out on me last Christmas, but of course I do. It’s strange, looking at him, comparing him to Rocco, and how Rocco makes me feel. I know it sounds corny, but I felt more in one night with Rocco than I ever did with Declan. I suppose I’d been with him so long that I’d forgotten what it felt like to be with someone who set you alight. Rocco hasn’t just made me feel good, he’s made me feel better. That’s why, this morning, I poked my head inside the room Declan is sleeping in to tell him that he’s still welcome to spend Christmas with us. I don’t think I could kick anyone out with nowhere to go on Christmas Eve, and I know it might seem like I’m soft, but to me, I think it shows that I’m over him, and that can only be a good thing.
I’m a little apprehensive about sitting down to play board games with Dad and Gail – especially Gail. Between my avoidance techniques, and her spending a lot of time at work, or hiding in their room here, Gail and I haven’t clocked that much interaction. I gave it my best shot with her when she arrived – at least, I think I did. I let them stay here, when they needed help, but I didn’t feel much warmth or appreciation from her when she arrived. I’m sure Dad has convinced her to play Cluedo with us, just like Mum has convinced me to play with them. I’m just relieved that Jess is here too. I thought she might be out, or over at Kenny’s – which reminds me that he’s coming for Christmas dinner. But, again, why not? When you’ve got enough people around that you struggle to get on with, what’s a few more? Unless they incite each other against me, for some kind of ‘my enemy’s enemy is my friend’ kind of deal.
‘Right, the biscuits are in the oven,’ Mum announces. ‘Let’s play.’
