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Summer had insisted her chauffeur drop me back after that last margarita, and I’d been a bit too lightheaded to refuse. I came home, but despite, or maybebecauseof, the alcohol in my system I was too wired to try to sleep. Isaac’s stuff was gone from our room so I knew he’d moved out while I was away. Which was fine. It’s what I wanted. Still, I felt a little sad about it. I never thought I’d have a future with him, but he was my friend. The fact that I’m sleeping with his father must have been crushing. I hurt him, no doubt about it.
How am I going to make it up to him? As for JJ? No way am I moving into his room. With Isaac scoring that last strike—he texted me to let me know he’d drawn abreast with JJ in points—it’s not like JJ won the game anyway.
How typical of JJ to be so confident that I’d end up doing as he wanted. Well, this time I’m not going to budge. I may have no choice but to stay under his roof, but no way am I moving into his room.
The thoughts buzzed around in my head, and finally, I decided to change into my swimsuit, wrap a robe around myself, and try the sauna. Maybe it’d help relax my muscles and I’d unwind enough to sleep. I marched down and into the pool house and found both of them there.
Now, I look at JJ sprawled in a corner. He’s wearing a towel wrapped around his waist. His legs are set wide apart, enough that the towel gapes between them. I spot a flash of his lean brown thigh, the darker hair sprinkled across his legs.
When he sees me, he leans his elbows on his knees. His biceps bulge and his shoulders are still. His chin is lowered and he watches me from under eyelashes. His cheeks are slightly flushed, his hair damp. A lock spills over his forehead, lending a youthful air to his features. A bead of sweat trickles down the demarcation between his pecs. I can’t stop myself from following it as it traverses down to his navel, further down to where his towel is knotted at his waist. The muscles of his forearms flex, but the rest of him is a solid, hard, rigid mass of sinews, tendons, peaks and valleys, and divots—which I ran my fingers over the last time I was under him, over him, in front of him, bent over as he took me from behind in the shower. My thighs clench, and the low hum in my core detonates to a high-pitched whine.Shit.
A movement catches my attention from the corner of my eye. I tear my eyes from JJ to find Isaac scowling at me. His lower lip juts out, his jaw hard. I raise my gaze to his and find something like helplessness and sadness etched in his features. He, too, has a white towel wrapped around his waist. His body is leaner than his father’s, his muscles not as well-developed. His shoulders are as broad, but lack the definition of JJ’s. The shape of his jaw, though, is one-hundred percent a mirror of his dad’s. And his eyes… Not as dark as JJ’s, not as much depth of experience, not as lined around the edges… But the intensity in them is so familiar.
It’s as if I’m caught in the crosshairs between them—twin beams of anger and lust and vulnerability. There’s this emotion of being unshielded, of being bare to what is to come that emanates from both of them. Heat billows around my feet and swirls about my shoulders. Sweat beads my upper lip, and pools under my armpits. I walk over to take the bench seat at right angles to both of them.
Turning, I face forward, and flick my gaze from one to the other. Both men are watching me. Neither has spoken a word. Neither has bothered to disguise the interest in their eyes. It doesn’t seem to matter to them that all three of us are almost fully naked and in an intimate space. I kick off my flip-flops and my bare feet thud on the wooden floor. The heat slinks up my soles, my calves, my thighs. It could well be the trail left from how both of them rake their gazes up my body. I reach for the bathrobe knotted around my waist, tug on it, and it parts in the front. I sense JJ’s body stiffen. Isaac draws in a breath. Keeping my gaze lowered I push the bathrobe over my shoulders, then let it pool around my feet.
I’m still wearing my bikini—it’s not like I’m naked—but given how the tension in the room ratchets up, you’d be forgiven for thinking I am. The hairs on my arms stiffen. My fingers tingle and I resist the urge to cover myself. More sweat pours down my back, and all of my pores seem to pop.
I know it’s a sauna, but why is it so hot in here? A shiver runs down my spine. Only when my gaze alights on JJ, do I realize I’ve turned my head to face him. He still hasn’t moved from his earlier position, but every muscle in his body is tense. His shoulders are bunched, the tendons of his throat stand out in relief, a nerve pops at his jaw, and his eyes are so dark they seem to be bottomless wells of desire, of lust, of need. Want.
My core clenches, and my toes curl. I take a step in his direction, when a movement catches my attention. I turn to find Isaac sitting upright. His fingers are clenched at his sides. His chest rises and falls. His lips are pressed together, and in his eyes is abject agony.
Something hot twists inside of me. This man held my hand and consoled me when Ben passed. He was there for me when my family was physically in a different space. They were empathetic about Ben’s death, but Isaac understood how difficult it was for me to lose him. How I’d always wonder if there was more I could have done to prevent it.
Without him, the two of us were rudderless. We turned to each other, and while I’ve always wondered if Ben would have been upset if he’d been alive… He left us. He chose to take his own life. He’d been depressed and I hadn’t realized it. Neither had Isaac. The two of us bore the brunt of the aftermath. We only had each other then, and we saw each other through the worst.
Now, I’m in love with his father. I stiffen.Shit, I have feelings for JJ.Inevitable, perhaps, but did I have to realize that now? When I’m standing in just a bathing suit, in a sauna, with the two of them glaring at me as if they expect me to choose sides.
I turn to JJ. His face is impassive, his jawline even more pronounced with how he’s holding himself upright. Everything about him is rigid. Uncompromising. He’s a rock. Unyielding. Tough. Immovable. He’d ground me, cocoon me, secure me, take care of me… Maybe stifle me, until I drew the line. He’d be the responsible one. The one who took the cares of the world on himself. The one who’d ensure he’d satisfy my every need… Then walk away. He already broke his rule of never sleeping with a woman more than once. What other rules can I get him to break, I wonder?
Isaac shifts in his seat. I turn toward him and take a step forward. His face lights up, his eyes gleam, and the tension fades from his face. You’d think he’d just been told that his most expensive painting had been bought. "Lena," he breathes.
"Lena." JJ’s low voice rumbles behind me. A shiver zips down my spine.Don’t look back. Don’t.I take another step toward Isaac, when— "Lena!" JJ’s voice rings out behind me.
Every muscle in my body tenses. Something deep inside of me insists I turn and walk toward him. My feet feel like they’re stuck to the ground, I force myself to keep going.
"Lena, stop." The authority in JJ’s tone slices through me. My entire body jolts.
"Lena, please." Isaac holds out his hand.
46
JJ
Don’t do this. Don’t.
Isaac holds out his hand and Lena closes the distance to him. She places her hand in his.
Before I know it, I realize I’m on my feet. My heart is pounding so hard against my rib cage, it’s as if I’ve run a marathon. My pulse thuds at my temples. Steam billows in front of me, and when it clears, it’s to find she’s sitting sideways in his lap, her arm around his shoulders, his hand on her hip. She raises her head, and he lowers his. Their lips meet.
Adrenaline laces my blood. My chest feels like it’s being cleaved in half. I’ve never lost a business transaction. Never lost a fight with an opposing clan. I’ve straddled the line between black and white. I’ve come close to tipping over the edge, to losing the battle of my will…
Once… When I knew I needed to be home more—to salvage the remnants of my family, to tie them together, to ensure my children didn’t feel the lack of affection I had growing up. I failed at that.
And I’m failing now. I wanted her to be mine for a little while longer. Until I had my fill of her. And set her up so she wouldn’t have to worry about money, or a job, or her future. She’d be free to find another. And then, I’d make things up to my son. Ensure his paintings were seen and enough were sold that he’d be able to launch his career. That’s what I had planned for. And now everything is falling apart in front of my eyes.
"Lena," I growl.
