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I whirled aroundand prayed to be beamed up to another planet.
This wasn’t my reality.
This wasnothappening.
More shrieking swiftly commenced, the kind that could pierce an unsuspecting eardrum and make me wish I’d just gone to the bakery to see my sister. Who was currently missing an employee who’d been exposing her breast to the mouth of a man who obviously knew what to do with it.
I needed to lay down in a dark room.
I needed to tell Mav.
Oh, God, I could never tell Mav his sister was being…fondled by his fellow cop.
And moaning. Just no.
“I’m not starting my marriage with secrets, dammit,” I announced to the wall, since there was no way in hell I was turning around anytime soon.
“Marriage? What marriage?” Honey sounded breathless, but still…aroused. Should I know how my soon-to-be sister-in-law—maybe—sounded like on the verge of happy times? Nope. Definitely not.
“This is payback,” I muttered. “Just because I got pregnant up at the Lookout, now I had to be scarred by seeing breasts I shouldn’t be seeing, at least not until we’re at a sleepover. Which is probably what my bachelorette party will be since I no longer stay up past nine p.m.”
“Pregnant?” Another screech, this one accompanied by a tackle hug from behind by a now thankfully dressed Honey. “Really? Are you sure? Oh my God, did Mav faint? He had to faint. Why didn’t he tell me, the jerk? We just went to lunch yesterday.”
“Pretty sure you’re keeping some things from him too,” I said pointedly, turning around to hug her properly. I really did love the girl, although she had questionable judgment for days.
“No, I wouldn’t.”
“Um, hello?” I didn’t look over her shoulder to where the man I’d intended to berate had wisely turned around to adjust his clothes. And probably other things, which if he was built to scale, probably would be worthy of one of my ginormous aliens.
Abort! Abort! Inappropriate thoughts seeking landing clearance.
But Honey was now fondling me—my belly to be exact. “You’re still a pancake. Are you sure? It’s so soon.”
“Yes, I’m sure. We went to the doctor already.”
She squealed. “And what about marriage? Did he propose? I’m going to kill him for leaving me out of everything, I swear. I’m supposed to be his best friend.” She stopped talking and peered down at me, her mouth tugging downward. “Well, I guess not anymore, now that you’re here.”
“Aww, you’re still his best friend. We’re so new.”
“And getting married? And having a baby?”
“Why wait?” I asked jauntily, nudging Honey aside when the Redwood she probably would’ve gotten fully naked with, chose to walk past us as if we did not exist.
“Um, hey there. What were you doing with Honey?”
He ignored me and went back to his desk while Honey poked my side about two hundred times.
“I asked you a question, jerk.”
“I’d say it was obvious. Now if you don’t mind, I have work.”
“Oh, do you now? You havework.”I went up on my toes to grip Honey’s shoulders. “Didn’t you just interview here?”
“Yes.”
“Just today?” I gasped and shook her a little.
“No, yesterday.” She bit her lip and lowered her voice. “But we know each other. We’ve been…around.”
