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“Yeah. I am. Just still a bit unsteady with the kid thing.” I released a watery laugh. “Not that I don’t want it,” I added hurriedly. “Just maybe I want him or her a little too much.”
“Is that possible?” She tipped her head against mine, still rubbing my shoulder in rhythmic strokes. When I didn’t speak, her voice lowered. “I know about high school, Van.”
Something crackled open in my chest. Not with fear or dismay, but with relief. Thank God she knew. I didn’t want to say the words. To even speak it into existence again.
“I read your diary,” she added with a hitching laugh. “I shouldn’t have. But I knew something was up, and I was afraid for you…”
I turned toward her and buried my face in her neck. “I should’ve told you back then. I wanted to so much. But I was scared and ashamed and just a general wreck.”
She held me tightly, just letting me talk.
I finally told her everything, and the whole time, she kissed my hair and waited me out. Through my tears and my embarrassed laughter and the parts I could barely say.
She was just my best friend, my twin, loving me silently through every bit of it.
“It’s been so long and I just shoved all of it down. But this thing with Mav brought everything bubbling up again.”
“Understandable. Are you going to tell him?”
“I told him the first night we were together.”
Tab’s pale brows shot up. “Really?”
“Yeah. I freaked out on him after our first time. Because that’s the way to start a relationship, right?” I laughed, shaking my head. “He wanted to know why I reacted that way, besides the obvious terror of forgetting to wrap it up in a town like this.” My lips curved. “And he listened to the whole story, Tab. He asked questions. He held my hand. I mean, where did he evencomefrom?”
“Turnbull.” Tab grinned. “And he has an equally amazing brother. Lucky us, huh?”
“Yeah, lucky us,” I echoed. “Just now I’m scared I’m going to lose all of this that I can’t believe I even found.” I forced myself to smile again. “I guess you found it, huh? Score one for the big sister.”
“We find what we’re meant to when we’re meant to, and not a minute before.” She brushed her fingertips over my wet cheek. Wet yet again. “You’re going to be an amazing mom.”
“Oh, God.” The tears poured out and there was just no stopping them now as I clung to her.
A few minutes later, when we were both sloppy from crying and rocking and laughing in the way that we always do, she eased back and cocked her head. “What’s this about a situation?”
“It’s not about me for once.” I winced. “How are you at keeping a secret?”
“Pretty good.”
“Yeah, I guess so, since you never let on you knew about mine. This one is epic. Huge. And it involves both our guys, so you have to swear you won’t tell anyone. It’s not mine to tell, but God, I gotta share it with someone before I burst.”
“If it’s more stripper talk—”
I snorted out a laugh. “Nope.” I lowered my voice and darted a glance at the closed door before rushing over to lock it just in case someone tried to interrupt us. “It’s about Honey.”
TWENTY-FIVE
I had entered fully wooterritory on the day of the year when the veil was thinnest. I supposed that was appropriate.
“Come on in,” Luna said as she waved me inside as if she’d expected me to show up on her doorstep this afternoon.
She probably had.
Shockingly, the only Halloween decoration was a black cat figure that stood sentinel at the front door. As soon as I entered, its real life doppelgänger ran down the stairs to wind around its mistress’s legs.
“This is Levi. He likes you.”
Since the cat was paying me no mind, I wasn’t sure how she’d come to that conclusion.
