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After everything, I still want him. It feels like a fire in my blood, an ache in my body, an almost visceral need. I want to fall into his arms and wipe away all the pain of the past days with pleasure, but I know better than to try. The rejection would hurt too much.
“Go ahead and shower, and then once you’re changed, we’ll go,” Niall says gruffly. I see his eyes shift down towards my hand, where the ring Diego gave me is still on my left ring finger. I want to rip it off, but as I look down at it, an idea comes to me.
I just don’t know if it will matter.
I shower as quickly as I can, braiding my hair in a halo braid around my head like Elena taught me, and slip into the outfit that Niall bought for me. It’s surprisingly pretty and fits me perfectly, the black skirt draping nicely around me and the embroidery on the top making me feel better than I have in days about the way I’m dressed.
When I emerge, Niall is finishing getting dressed as well. Seeing him takes my breath away for a moment. I’d seen what he was wearing already, but now that he’s cleaned up, his hair combed back. His jaw is shaved back to stubble, and he looks so devastatingly handsome in the simple jeans and black button-down that it makes my chest ache. I want to go to him so badly that it hurts, but I hang back in the doorway of the bathroom, feeling suddenly shy.
“Where are we going?” I ask quietly, and Niall presses his lips together, his face taut. He doesn’t look like a happy groom, and that immediately douses my momentary pleasure.
“To the church, if we can get a priest at this hour,” Niall says tiredly. “But first, we need to get rings. Just something simple, to exchange at the ceremony, make it more official. We’re running low on cash, too.” He rubs his hand over his mouth. “I hadn’t expected—never mind. It’s not a big deal. I can find us something—”
“We’ll sell this.” I twist Diego’s ring off of my finger, glad at least that my earlier idea can be of some use. “It’s a huge diamond. A jewelry shop should be willing to give us something for it, and we can use that to buy bands, and you can pocket the rest.”
Niall looks at me keenly. “Pocket the rest, hm?”
I flush. “You know what I mean. Use it for whatever we need until we get to—to Boston. That way, I can…contribute in some way. I don’t want the ring. I’d rather never see it again.”
“I believe that.” Niall hesitates, but then he reaches out, taking it from my hand. The large marquis diamond glitters in the light, and he lets out a sigh, slipping it into his pocket. “Hopefully, we can sell it without attracting too much attention.” He glances at me. “Are you ready to go?”
Readyisn’t the word I would have used.Resigned,maybe. But I nod, forcing a small smile onto my lips. The truth is that I don’t know how to feel. Being Niall’s wife, for however long that lasts, will protect our child and me from Diego—and that’s the thing I want most in the world.
But it also might just break my heart.
