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I went into the office. Will be back this evening. If you need anything, call.
“If I need anything?” she whispered before crumpling the note in her hand. She bit down hard on her bottom lip to distract herself from the urge to cry again. If she needed anything. All she really needed was—no. Never mind. She wouldn’t go there again, not even in her own mind.
Nicole had spent most of the lonely night alternately crying and silently berating herself. She had done this. She had gone and fallen in love with a man who had run the moment things got complicated.
Her heart ached and her eyes burned from too little sleep and too many tears. Idiot. That’s what she was. Because it wasn’t only that she had allowed herself to fall in love with Griffin King, even knowing it wasn’t safe. The worst part was that she had begun to believe.
Stupid, she knew, but that was what hurt the most. In spite of everything, even knowing that Griffin wasn’t a forever kind of guy, Nicole had allowed herself to begin to believe in the fantasy of the two of them being together.
She ran one hand across the pillow he had used the night before, and then curled her fingers into her palm. She wasn’t going to fall apart. Wasn’t going to cry anymore, either. Because it wasn’t only her pain she had to be concerned with now.
There was Connor to think about, and that’s what she was most furious about. Deluding herself into believing in a fantasy was one thing. She was a grown-up and would eventually get over the misery she’d brought down on her own head.
But Connor was just a baby. Not even three years old. When he loved, it was with his whole heart and he expected to be loved in return the same way. He was too young to know about betrayal or disappointment or what it was like for someone in your life to suddenly not be in it anymore.
At least Connor’s father had left him before he was born. You couldn’t miss something you’d never known. But Griffin was different.
She couldn’t explain it to Connor; she could only hope that at some point, he’d forget about the man he’d loved enough to want for a daddy.
She hoped they would both forget.
But for the moment, the death of her dreams was raw and so painful, every breath drawn felt like a victory. She didn’t have time to wallow, though.
So she went through the motions, getting her son up and dressed for the day. Then she carried Connor into the kitchen for breakfast. He whipped his head from side to side, looking around the empty room in confusion.
“Where Griff go?”
This was all her fault, she thought as she looked into her son’s shining eyes. Her own pain she could handle, but knowing that her son would miss Griffin tore at her.
“Griffin had to go away, sweetie.” She gave him some strawberries and a small cup of yogurt.
Connor banged his spoon on the chair tray. “Where? Connor go, too?”
“Not this time, baby,” she soothed.
“Wanna go!”
His bottom lip quivered, and Nicole’s heart twisted in her chest.
“We’ll see,” she said and silently cursed herself for using the stock parental phrase that usually translated into a big fat no.
Meanwhile, they’d get through breakfast, and once Connor was at preschool, Nicole would move their things back to their own house. Lucas would hurry up the finish work if she insisted, and she wasn’t above using the threat of a lawsuit to make sure of it.
Once they were back where they belonged, she assured herself as she sipped at her coffee, she and Connor would both begin to heal.
* * *
A few days later, Nicole still hadn’t seen Griffin, but her house was her own again and Katie and Rafe were back in town.
“I still think Rafe should beat him up,” Katie said from her seat at Nicole’s new kitchen table.
“And I appreciate the support,” Nicole told her as she set a cup of coffee down in front of her best friend.
Connor was napping, the house was quiet and Nicole was still carrying around an icy ball of regret in the center of her chest. But true to her vow, she hadn’t cried since the night Griffin had walked away from her. It had been close a time or two, but she’d sucked it up and swallowed the pain, forcing it down into a corner of her heart, where it continued to simmer and churn.
