AllFreeNovel
Share Us
How long has this part of her existed? How long has splitting up been on her mind? I refuse to ask because I fear learning the truth. That she has considered the idea of breaking up for much longer than a day or two.
“Breaking up is for the best,” she says without looking my way. “We should get to experience college and this new phase of our lives. Make new friends. See the world… without fear of hurting each other.”
All I hear is…I want to have fun and be open to new experiences without being tied down. Better to break up now than cheat on my boyfriend and feel guilty.
I won’t throw the words in her face, but I am no fool. Well, maybe Iama fool. A heartbroken idiot who believed the girl he loved would want to be with him for years to come. A naive guy who thought his girl cared for him as much as he did her.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
What boy believes he found his soul mate at fifteen? Trusting boys with moldable hearts, that is who.
Kelsey continues on her tirade of why our breakup is for the best, but I don’t hear a word she says. Her voice is white noise in my ears. The words scrambled and vacant and pointless. When I don’t respond to something she said, she pats my shoulder, mouths something else, then walks off.
Week-long seconds pass as I stand in the same place and stare at the fuzzy basketball championship banners over the collapsed bleachers. A warm hand settles on my shoulder, a perfume I have known since childhood fills my nose. My mom says something beside me, her voice saccharine and insincere yet firm. A woman not to be crossed. I have no clue what she said, but I nod.
I exit the gymnasium with my parents, thankful when Dad’s arm hooks around my shoulders, and walk to the car. Our drive to the restaurant is a blur. Graduation dinner goes by in a haze of disbelief. With each passing minute, a black vignette clouds my periphery. Blankets my vision. The thumping organ in my rib cage beats with less enthusiasm. And it doesn’t take long before the pericardium around my heart shrinks. Withers. Splinters into thousands of jagged pieces and stabs the vital organ it holds.
With each new wave of darkness, I make a new vow.
I will never let anyone in again. Never let someone close enough to ruin me with such severity. And never will I give another my heart. The agony in the fallout isn’t worth the risk. No one is worth this endless heartache.
Then, I give in. Let pain and darkness swallow me into the abyss. Let my world go numb.
ONE
SHELLY
I love pink.Much of my wardrobe consists of various shades of the hue. But seeing this much—balloons, streamers, cake, clothes, drinks—has me nauseous.
Another round of oohs and awes fills the room as Cora opens another gift and holds up an infant-sized black dress with tiny pink hearts. Then she pulls out a pair of black Mary Jane’s, small enough to fit in her palm, and her eyes glaze over.
The smile on my face is genuine. The joy in my heart is real.
I am happy for my best friend and her husband, Gavin. They deserve nothingbuthappiness and love after the journey their relationship has endured. I never pictured them as parents, but since finding out Cora was pregnant, they smile more than ever before.
Truly, I am happy for them.
The last two and a half years have been a whirlwind. For everyone in our circle. Everyone except me.
My best friend since forever—the woman we are here to celebrate joining motherhood soon—reunited with the love of her life. Gavin. Their reunion tipped the first domino.
Watching Cora and Gavin come back together and fall in love all over again, was magical. Like something from one of the romance novels on my bookshelf. I sat front and center with popcorn in hand. Consoled my friend when she needed someone to listen and give advice. Offered my shoulder when she needed to cry. But deep down, anyone who knew them before knew their relationship would stand the test of time. After more than a decade apart, their love was timeless. Genuine. The real deal.
“Oomph.” Cora sets down the gift bag, shifts on the couch, and rubs her growing belly.
Elizabeth, more affectionately called Mom by more than just Cora, rises from her seat in the living room and wanders down the hall. Not a minute later, she strolls back in with an office chair lumbar pillow and offers it to Cora.
“Might make you more comfortable.”
“Thanks, Mom.” She tucks the cushion behind her, leans back, and sighs. “She has been so active the last week. I swear she’s rearranging my organs in there.” Cora laughs and we all join in.
My eyes drift around the room. Take in the small group of women gathered to celebrate the impending arrival of Cora and Gavin’s bundle of joy. So much love resides in our close-knit circle, and I am blessed to have these women in my life. Women who will drop whatever they are doing to help one another. Friendship and family like ours cannot be bought. It brews over time and strengthens with each passing day.
Cora continues to rub her belly, then sucks in a breath. “She kicked.” A pained smile lights up her face as her gaze shifts from one person to the next, until she reaches me, her best friend. Cora is the one person I know better than anyone else walking the earth, and vice versa. “Come here, Auntie Shell. Check out Miss Clara’s latest dance moves. Something tells me she’ll be our karaoke choreographer one day.”
I laugh and shake my head as I cross the room and plop down beside Cora. “I have a feeling this little girl will change us all.” Looking over at Autumn, whose belly has just started to round as well, I smile. “Just as Clementine did.”
I lay my hand on Cora’s belly and she guides me to where baby Clara kicks. The second her little foot punts my hand, tears pool in my eyes. Feeling this sweet girl stretch her limbs warms my heart. She will be loved and spoiled, not by just her parents, but by us all. Especially me.
