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“I am too.” I let out a quiet breath. “I’m still figuring a lot of it out.”
“Like you and Rae?” he asks as we start walking again.
I look up at the sky, lit up by all the bright lights on campus. I hate it. I miss seeing the stars. “We’re a work in progress,” I finally say. And as the words come out of my mouth, I decide I like that description.
We’re working on ourselves, but we’rein progress; we’re moving forward toward a future together. I don’t know exactly how long it will take or how we’re going to get there, but I know we still want a future together.
I think back to what I wondered this afternoon, if there’s a path out of this hell we put ourselves in, and I realize there is. We just have to be ready to walk it together.
Chapter ten
It Feels Like We’re Pretending
Rae
“Theweatherisgonnabe perfect this weekend!” Sarah happily chirps, staring at her phone as she, Joel, and I walk across campus together.
This weekend we’re going to the lake house to celebrate my and Joel’s birthdays. My birthday is tomorrow and Joel’s is Friday, but we’re spending the whole weekend there and having a party. Trevor and Jamie are both coming up. There will be plenty of food and hopefully lots of fun outdoor activities, even if it’s still too early for swimming.
“How nice?” Joel asks.
“Low seventies and sunny,” Sarah says as she shoves her phone in her purse.
“And what are we doing for food?”
I shrug. “Most of the weekend we’re winging it, but Aaron is handling food for your birthday.”
“Great,” he says, sounding annoyed. “He’ll probably get a bunch of your favorite stuff.”
I squint at him. “Joel, come on, he knows what you like. He’s gonna get special stuff for you too.”
“I don’t know. He’s seemed kinda pissed at me lately.”
My eyes immediately go to Sarah’s, and we exchange a glance. It’s not lost on any of us that things have been tense between them lately.
“Whoa, what was that?”
“What?”
“You did the thing where you have some sort of telepathic conversation.”
Sarah and I look at each other again and Joel stops and crosses his arms. “You just did it again. Tell me.”
Sarah flares her eyes at me.
“Well,” I start, “you haven’t exactly been Team Aaron lately.”
Joel’s eyes go wide and his mouth drops. “Coming from you?”
“Excuse you? I’m about to not be Team Joel anymore.”
“I just mean—”
“What?” I ask sharply.
“You’ve been usingthattone with him a lot lately. You don’t seem like you’re his biggest fan half the time.”
“Oh boy…” Sarah mutters.
