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My father had always said that driving was where he got his best ideas. And right now, I needed an idea more than ever before. And so I drove. At first I drove through the tears. Then through the anger. And then the sadness.
By the time I had to turn around, I was just empty. There were no ideas. There were no solutions.
Only one horrible, frustrating realization. While I’d hated everything that Luna said, it’d only been because she was mostly correct.
I was living in a bubble of ignorance if I thought I could have this baby, run a company, or even date an equally ambitious man.
Something was going to give.
I needed to decide what. Before life decided for me.
***
Brady
“What do you want to watch tonight?”
I grabbed a fistful of popcorn, letting my gaze follow Cici as she hurried back towards the couch. We’d been attempting to start a movie for a while. First, she’d had to pee. Then we’d needed snacks. And now, she’d run to the bathroom again.
I smiled a little. She would hit twenty weeks in a few days, and while she liked to pretend things weren’t changing, they were. And quickly. It left a strange, tingling excitement every time I thought about it. But I knew for her, there was something else entirely. Ever since her blowup with her receptionist and family friend, Luna, Cici had been different. She’d been working at all hours of the day but also hiding it.
It made for strange, unusual hours that even my workaholic brain couldn’t keep up with. It was nice to have nights like tonight, where we could just sit and enjoy each other. Especially since I’d been on the road the past few days and I’d missed her. More than I could’ve even believed possible.
But then, that’s what happens when you fall in love with the woman carrying your baby. Not that it was a surprise to me, or really anyone who had put the pieces together, but I was nuts for this woman. The way she talked, the way she walked, and the way she felt against me.
It was what I’d been looking for my whole life. There was still so much undecided, so many things I’d been too afraid to push or ask her. But we were getting closer.
And on nights like this, I just wanted to savor her. To feel her curl against me and know that even for a moment, she was just mine. Cici plopped down next to me, practically climbing into my lap as she snuck a bit of popcorn then pressed her lips to mine. “Let’s do something scary.”
I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. “Something scary? Since when?”
“I’m not sure. I just feel like being terrified by something real today. Other than growing political unrest and my mother’s baby shower ideas.”
I flinched. “Done.” I turned on a favorite science fiction thriller and turned back to Cici. Her hands had found their way across my lap, where they toyed with the edge of my tee.
“Comfortable?” I asked, my voice tight.
Cici’s lips brushed mine, instantly awakening every part of my body. “For now,” she whispered against my lips.
An hour or so later, I could feel her begin to sag, her still slight weight going heavier against my arm as I repositioned her so that she could lie down against the armrest, her legs kicked over my lap.
She was awake for a moment, laughing at my teasing that she was always dozing off. Within moments, her dark-blue eyes shuttered, and once again her breathing grew slow and even. I leaned back, giving her more room, when I suddenly froze.
Her shirt, or rather one of my shirts, had ridden up, showing the waistband of her baggy sleep shorts. It revealed the softest, most perfectly round bump between her hips. My heart rate was erratic as I looked up to see if she was still asleep.
Cici had been extremely protective of her changing body these past few weeks. She’d always been perfect in my mind, but I could tell the changes confused her.
I’d painstakingly shown her how much I worshiped her new, sensitive breasts. Or the gentleness that I’d shown when she came home complaining her pants were getting tight. But this was the first time I’d really been able to watch the clear signs of my baby in her belly.
There they were. Unable to resist, I shifted so I could bring my head lower. I brushed my lips over the firm skin there. “Hello there.”
I nervously looked around, but Cici dozed on. I smiled against the bump again. “Happy halfway, little one. I can’t wait to meet you.”
Just under the skin, against my lips, I felt something that made my head snap back. A warm, throaty laugh made me look up at Cici. Her eyes were open, and a smile pulled at her lips as she looked down at me.
“Was that…?”
“Baby likes your voice,” Cici said, her fingers caressing through my hair. “Here, you can probably still feel.” One of her hands guided mine to the side of her bump. Where she pressed my hand, the skin was impossibly firm.
