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“Sorry,” she said. “That’s a line from a mommy influencer for sure. But I mean it. Sometimes what is one person's chaos is another person’s beauty. We are all a little weird and a little broken. Just decide how you feel about his particular brand of brokenness.”
I nodded. A few minutes passed as we stared at the still-muted television, both caught up in our own thoughts.
“Hey Beth.”
“Hm?”
“What is wrong with Guy?” I pointed to the ceiling once again.
She grinned. “He loves me too much.”
I threw a pillow at her, unwilling laughter bubbling up my throat.
***
Chapter 23
Brady
She’d said no.
I barely remembered how I’d gotten this far. My brain had thoughtfully blurred the minutes directly following her rejection of my proposal. I’d come to as I’d driven down a side road, my headlights illuminating the rapidly dimming evening. I was close to my house, and while some part of me wished I could go home and curl up in a corner to scream my lungs out…
Another part recognized the fact that I couldn’t go home. Not right now.
Teeth gritted, I finally decided to go to the office, grab my gym bag, and go find something heavy and unmoving to lift until the pain in my muscles drowned out the pain ricocheting across my heart.
Because I’d fucked it up.
I’d proposed. I’d meant what I said. And then, Christ, she’d sat there, a pillar of calm against my storm of emotions.
She didn’t want to marry me. Not like this.
Not that I blamed her. She wanted what every woman wanted: to be loved and to be wanted. I’d called her and my baby, my son, an obligation.
And then to top it off, I’d told her a half-assed version of my sister’s drama. I slammed my hand into the steering wheel as I glared up at the red light.
What was I thinking? A normal man would’ve let her have her celebration. Let her feel that joy that she’d been craving for months.
And then I would’ve taken her out somewhere, maybe another attempt at our special night at the Galleria. We could’ve talked about cribs or apartments or where we should live. I could’ve coyly asked for her ring size. I would’ve taken my time.
But I didn’t. I blurted out an obsessive story about why I needed to protect her more than I loved her. And now, I hadn’t even gotten the chance to explain how much Ididlove her.
Because if I said it now, it would only be a consolation prize. She now had a reason to doubt me. Her and the baby. She’d been so emotionless, almost professional the entire time. That wasn’t how a woman wanted to be proposed to. Any person with half a brain knew that.
And now I was going back to work. Because I had nothing else. No one was waiting for me. No one was wondering where I was. I’d ruined all of that. Just like I had before.
In fact, I was doing exactly what I'd always promised I’d be doing. I guess it was what I’d done for years after Adriana and before Cici.
Work. Eat. Gym. Work. Sleep. Repeat.
Except now it felt like the slice of a blade just thinking about it. Because I wanted date nights. I wanted home-cooked dinners. I wanted cuddling, couch sex, and bad movies.
I pulled into Leden’s parking lot and killed the motor. There were a few others still here, but Liam’s big pickup was missing. I was instantly relieved to not have to talk to him about tonight. Ashlyn probably already knew how big of an asshole I was. Liam would know soon enough.
Maybe I would work at home tomorrow, try to avoid that altercation for as long as possible. I was already hating myself enough. I didn’t need to hear it from Liam too.
Walking through the familiar halls, I made my way to my office, grabbing the spare gym bag I kept stuffed in my desk. The duffel slapped against my legs as I marched back down the row of empty cubicles.
