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I turned, giving her my complete attention.

“Your father would be very proud of you.”

This time when I sat at my desk, the tears flowed freely. But for the first time in weeks, they no longer left a hollow feeling in their wake, but something close to warmth, an awareness that sometimes you had to give in order to receive.

I couldn’t believe how good it felt.

***

Chapter 25

Brady

I had planned on using the two-hour drive from San Francisco to the far edge of Santa Cruz to plan what I was going to say to my sister. Instead, I spent the entire time replaying and reliving the last times I’d seen Adriana. And worst, the last fight that my father and I had gotten into. The one where he blamed me for ruining Adriana’s life.

I could see his bloodshot eyes as he screamed at me across my childhood kitchen, his face full of rage as my mother cradled Adriana in the background. I could feel the heat of his breath, the grit of the street dirt still under my nails.

When I arrived at the complex my sister was staying at, my stomach was nauseated and I wanted more than anything to turn around and go back home. At least I’d had the forethought to realize that I’d told not just Adriana, but also my mother, that I would be here today.

Because otherwise my courage might have run out as I stared at the heavy gate.

“I’m here to see Adriana Martinez.” I handed the neatly dressed guard my ID through the car window.

He gave me a welcoming nod and hurried back into his shack to quickly type my info into the computer there.

Too quickly, he was back at my door, handing me my card with a wide smile. “Welcome to Monterey Beginnings.”

“Thanks,” I gritted out, my stomach clenching harshly as the gate lifted, admitting me into the winding driveway. Reaching the fork, I noted that the rehabilitation facility and common spaces were on one end, sober living and second-stage rehabilitation on the other. Turning my car in that direction, I tried to picture what my sister would look like.

She’d always been beautiful. Delicate. Her features had always had this innocent quality to them that made Katie and me seem bullish in comparison. But the last time I’d seen her, she’d been wasting away, alcoholism twisting her lovely face away into someone I barely recognized.

I parked, stepping out in my jeans and black Polo shirt. Stretching, I bought myself a few more moments before I went to meet with her. We were meeting at the garden area, just to the left of what looked like an apartment building. My mom had been right. This place was really pretty and looked like it was worth every one of the pennies I’d poured into it.

I’d stalled too long now. I forced my feet to move, stepping quickly against the pavement leading me around the first building and into the heart of a vast garden space. There were others here. Some journaling, others reading. There was even a couple in the corner who looked like they were playing chess on one of the small stone tables.

But no Adriana.

“Brady?”

My chest constricted at the soft sound of her voice. I cleared my throat, turning slowly in place.

Directly in my shadow stood my youngest sister, Adriana. “Ana?”

I hadn’t meant for it to sound like a question, but it was. Because this woman in front of me bore very little resemblance to what I’d captured in my mind. This woman looked more like Katie. She looked grown up. She looked content, her warm brown eyes smiling up at me as she stepped even closer.

“It’s good to see you,” she said. Adriana was close enough to touch me, but I noted that she kept her hands carefully at her sides. Something I was immediately grateful for. I wasn’t sure if I could make it through an entire conversation with her hugging me. I’d crack for sure.

“You look good,” I said, a little louder than I meant to.

She smiled as if understanding completely. Again, I was struck by the newfound quality of maturity that swirled around us.

“Thank you. You do too.” She pointed out a set of two lawn chairs sitting next to the vibrant red winding rose bushes that twirled and danced around the trellis. As soon as we sat, their scent enveloped me. I took a long breath, forcing my body to be still in the curved iron chair. There wasn’t a single part of me that was comfortable.

I cleared my throat awkwardly. “I appreciate you meeting me today. I know I missed family day.”

Adriana’s gaze on me was welcoming, kind. She reminded me of what she had looked like as a kid. Innocent, healthy, and full of life. “You don’t need to apologize. You have a full-time job and a baby on the way. I know that schedules don’t always work out.”

Hot guilt crept up my neck. On the day my sister and mother drove down, I’d sat in my house drinking expensive whiskey while wearing my robe and staring at ultrasound pictures. It hadn’t been my finest moment.

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