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“I went to the store.”
Sam’s words pulled her from her thoughts. He stepped around Tara and picked Marley up; her squeal echoed through the foyer.
And just like that, Tara’s memories flooded through. She had no clue where Marley’s mind was, but Tara couldn’t ignore the rush of emotions that accompanied this entire déjà vu scene.
“Your favorite strawberry ice cream is in the freezer and I’m making tacos for dinner, Marmaid.”
He always called her Marmaid for her love of the ocean and mermaids, plus her name. Only Sam called her that...the special bond between father and daughter couldn’t be severed. Unlike Sam and Tara’s marriage.
Tara stood in place, watching Sam’s retreating form, remembering all those times he’d carried Marley around while shopping, at the annual carnival, when she’d fall asleep on the couch and he’d taken her up to bed.
Tara desperately wished she could erase her own memories of the past year. Maybe then this constant ache deep in her chest wouldn’t be so all-consuming. Just because she’d pushed him away in a tough-love moment to make him focus on getting sober didn’t mean she didn’t still love him. That’s what hurt most of all—she would always love Sam. She simply couldn’t let him in their lives again.
Wait. Sam’s parting words finally sank in. He was making dinner? As in, he wasn’t leaving anytime soon, considering they’d just been discussing breakfast?
“You can do this for Marley,” Tara whispered to herself.
The doctor had told them they needed to make things as normal as possible and as far as Marley was concerned, her parents were still living happily ever after. Thankfully her daughter didn’t recall the fourth birthday party that her father never made or that he’d shown up later that night completely out of touch with reality. Maybe this temporary memory loss was somewhat of a blessing. At least her daughter only had happy thoughts of Sam.
A motivational pep talk was necessary. How else would Tara get through having Sam in her home for the entire day? Her attraction to him hadn’t diminished. Their chemistry had never been in question. No, the problem was he’d been a workaholic, pushing himself so she could stay home because he’d thought that’s what made her happy. Not that he expected her to cook and clean and keep the house perfect. He wasn’t archaic, by any means, and fully believed they were equals on every level.
All of that work and stress ultimately led to his accident, which rolled into his pill addiction, and the downfall of the best life.
Sam had always been a devoted man and wanted to be the provider. He wanted Tara to have the freedom to do anything she wanted. He’d urged her to explore her love of art. He’d grown up an only child with a widowed mother who worked too hard to provide for her son. He’d said he never wanted his wife to feel that kind of pressure.
Damn it. She wished he’d never shown her how perfect their lives could be. Part of her wished she’d never married him. Harsh thoughts, but she’d experienced the beauty of marriage with Sam...then he ripped it all away.
Tara wasn’t sure she’d ever recover from the pain.
Pushing the past out of her thoughts, Tara focused on the here and now. She desperately needed a shower and a change of clothes.
Even though Sam had brought her yoga pants and a sweatshirt, sleeping in the vinyl chair that posed as a pullout bed had left Tara feeling not so clean or rested.
Needing to take five minutes to regroup and gather her thoughts about everything swirling around in her mind, Tara mounted the steps to her master suite. She and Sam had renovated it when they’d married, turning one of the bedrooms into a giant adjoining bath.
But as soon as she crossed the threshold to her room, she froze. A large, black, menacing suitcase sat on her bed. She knew that suitcase; she’d bought that extra suitcase for their beach trip that never came to fruition.
Dread curled low in her belly.
He wouldn’t.
Tara knew exactly what she’d find in the luggage he’d parked on her side of the mattress. As she crossed to her king-sized bed, she attempted to take in deep, slow breaths, but nothing calmed her nerves.
