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The bartender lifts his chin to acknowledge the order.
“Whoa,” I say, interested in what Erica just said. “Not too much information. What are you going to do?”
“Oral,” she says with a resounding nod. “I’m not the most sexually free person, but get a little liquor in me, he gets his dick sucked, and I swallow.”
Hayley, Ann Marie, and I gape at Erica. Apparently, a little liquor also opens all of her TMI locks.
I’m not put off by this conversation at all, but it is a little unusual. While I love my girls to pieces, we don’t usually talk about these things in such detail, and I think it’s because most of us don’t have a lot of experience. We were considered the dorks in high school, and not one of us dated anyone seriously. I didn’t lose my virginity until I got to college, and I didn’t share details after it happened. I just sort of giggled about it with my girls over beers purchased with a fake ID.
We talk about everything under the sun, but when it comes to our sex lives, which aren’t all that active for any of us except Erica, we vague it up a bit.
Erica is being very specific, and it is exactly the confidence boost I need to talk about Coen.
“I’ve got an oral sex story,” I proclaim, which is a horrible lead-in but causes all three women to whirl their attention my way.
“You do?” Hayley asks. “Like… from college?”
Yes, my sex life has been dead lately, and thus, the question is legitimate.
I shake my head. “Yesterday afternoon. I had oral sex with my neighbor up against a tree in his backyard.”
A shot glass of tequila appears before me, and I glance up to see Sammy there with three more shots and a smirk in place. My face flames hot while my friends snicker.
Once he’s gone, I lead the toast since it’s my turn. “Here’s to another shot of liquid courage if I’m going to tell you this story.”
“Hear! Hear!” the girls shout, and we lick, swallow, and suck, which is highly appropriate given the theme of our conversation.
I set my glass down and take a deep breath. My girlfriends lean forward to listen.
“Okay, so you know my asshole neighbor Coen?” I begin, which is stupid. Of course, they know about him—they helped me set up all the feeders and salt licks night before last. “Anyway, his yard was apparently a literal zoo yesterday morning, and he wasn’t happy about it. He came over and confronted me. Told me I had to clean it up, or he would call the police.”
“Such a dick,” Ann Marie says.
“Too true,” Hayley echoes.
“So you told him to go fuck himself?” Erica guesses.
“No,” I exclaim with a laugh. “I didn’t want to get arrested, so I went over there and cleaned it up.”
My words falter and freeze on my tongue. They all stare at me expectantly, knowing this story’s origins came about while discussing oral sex. Air gushes out of me along with a litany of words that run into one another. “He was out there watching me take down the bird feeders, and we got into a fight and then he’s kissing me and next thing I know, he has my pants off, pinned me up against a tree, and his mouth was… well, between my legs, and I had the best orgasm of my life.”
Dead silence at the table, making the chatter of bar patrons seem overwhelmingly obnoxious. All three girls stare at me with blank expressions, mouths hanging open.
Then they all three start laughing at the same time. Ann Marie punches my arm. “That’s a good one, Tillie.”
“Man…” Hayley sighs dreamily. “But imagine if something like that did happen. Like he gets all alpha and dominant. Like, you’re running your mouth and he’s irritated and decides to kiss you just to shut you up.”
“That’s exactly what happened,” I say, gaze dropping to the glass. I could use another shot.
“You’re kidding, right?” Erica asks.
“Not kidding.” I laugh nervously as I look around the table. “Am I a tramp?”
“Wait a fucking minute,” Ann Marie says, leaning even closer, her expression dead serious. “He performed oral sex on you?”
I nod.
“Then what happened?”
