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I stay quiet, but I do process his words. He’s given me a lot to think about.
“One more piece of wisdom, and then we need to talk about why I’m really here. I’m going to suggest that you’ve already started knocking down some of those walls because you let Tilden into your circle. She’s the first person you’ve allowed in since the crash. That means you want out of your prison.”
I open my mouth to argue, but he talks right over me. “You don’t want to be this way, Coen. No one would want to be this way. My advice to you is to take the opening that’s been created with Tilden and run with it. You don’t have to be anything more than fuck buddies, if that’s all you want, but you can start with the buddy part. You can try to be her friend.”
Could I? It means I’d have to commit to trying, and I haven’t wanted to try anything in so long, I don’t know if I have the drive.
I push it out of my head because with the beer making it swim, I’m not in a frame of mind to change the course of my life right now. “What did you want to talk about?”
“I’m not coming back next season,” Gage says, and I almost choke on my sip of ale.
“What?”
“When I came to the Titans, I wanted to help the team. I wanted to lend my wisdom and skills. I liked Brienne Norcross a lot and respected what she was trying to do. But I’ve got nothing left to prove, and the team is going to be just fine without me on the ice.”
Those last words…without me on the ice. “That implies you’re not leaving.”
Gage smiles. “Yeah… they offered me an assistant coaching position. Bill Perry wanted the head coach position, but they offered it to Cannon West, and Bill wasn’t happy about it, so he’s leaving.”
“Whoa. Cannon’s a good choice.”
“I agree. The team will be in good hands with him.”
“You’ll make a great coach. The men respect you.”
Gage smirks and cocks an eyebrow. “You didn’t respect me.”
“I did, but I was too big of an asshole to tell you.”
Gage bursts into a laugh. Holding his beer out, we clink bottles again. “I’ll drink to that.”
We both sip, and I feel good. This has been a good conversation, and he’s given me a lot to consider.
“You need to come back,” Gage says, and my body locks up tight with dread at those five little words.
“I can’t.”
“You can. You need to. You owe it to that team to come back and help them. They need someone to lead.”
“I’m no leader,” I insist.
“You are. You could be if you got your head out of your ass. If you came back, after everything you’ve been through, it would go beyond inspiration. It could be the fuel this team needs to get back to the top of their game.”
“I don’t—”
“Stop,” Gage says gruffly. “Don’t say the words. Just think about it, okay?”
All I can do is nod my assent. If I open my mouth, words of denial will spring forth, but I think I’ve become programmed to do that. The refusal to even consider a hockey career.
Yet Gage has thrown something at me I’d be well served to mull over, the most important being Tilden. She’s definitely the catalyst for the changes Gage has observed.
I’m thinking she’s the key to so much more than just banging out some great orgasms.
CHAPTER 15
Tillie
Irush around,making sure I have everything.
