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Leo rubs both hands over his face. “Because I love her.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.” My hands shake now. I thought he was dead. “If you love her, you should be with her.”
“My love for her is more than that. It’s strong enough to let her go.” He sounds like he can barely breathe. “She has a family. Those are her people. I was always fooling myself that she could be mine.”
“Leo…” The world feels like it’s tilted in the wrong direction. I want to tell him. I want the relief of not keeping a secret. I used to tell him everything, and now I think it might push him over the edge. I think it might be worse for him to know. Much worse. For him, not for me. I’m already living here. He’s on the brink of total collapse.
His eyes look huge in his face. Too huge. “I’m sorry, Daphne.” He waves at the desk. Grimaces at the pills. “For this.”
“Have you slept? Since she…since Haley. Not like this. In your bed.”
Leo shakes his head.
“Will you take a nap?” I take a deep breath and summon all the confidence I have. “We’re obviously having dinner together tonight. You can’t do this anymore.”
“I’ll go upstairs. Have the kitchen make whatever you want.”
“I’m sending Gerard up to get you,” I say to his back. His clothes are wrinkled. He’s a wreck. Leo is never a wreck. “It’s rude to be late for dinner.”
He turns back and tries to smile at me. It flickers and dies before it reaches his eyes. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
On the floor of Leo’s office, my phone lights up.
Emerson: You can fly away any time, little painter.
Emerson: I know a place you could land.
Daphne: I can’t leave
Emerson: Because you don’t want to, or because someone is stopping you?
Daphne: I can’t.
Watching Leo pickat his food does nothing to make me feel better about this situation. He swears he slept. I don’t know if I believe him. He still looks pale and drawn and nothing like my brother. My hands tremble every time I pick up my fork. I guess I’m not over finding him in his office this morning.
“You’re not eating anything, Leo.”
“I’ve eaten.”
He’s such a liar. “Okay, but you know you have to eat more than that. You’re going to starve to death. Plus, it’s good salad.”
“I hate salad.”
I drop my fork and put my hands over my eyes. I double-checked the menu with him earlier. I made Gerard go in and show him so I’d know he was alive. “Why are we having salad, then?”
“Penance.”
A shout echoes down from Leo’s foyer. “What is that?”
“Go up to your room.” He gets out of his seat. “Put on some music and don’t come down until the album’s over.”
Not a chance in hell. “You’ll have to carry me there yourself.”
“Might be a little short on time.”
It’s Leo’s security team doing the shouting. Fear is a bitter taste on my tongue. If someone came in—if that someone was Emerson—
Gerard tries to stop us. “Go back,” he says. “Go up.”
