AllFreeNovel
Share Us
No matter what I paint, I still need white for the highlights. Most people think depth only comes from shadows. They don’t understand the nature of a shadow on canvas. You need more light, not less. More contrast.
Emerson presses his fingers into my back, a light touch, almost like he’s playing the piano. One key after another. Pinky to thumb.
What was it?
“She said it was worse to have a man who wasn’t obsessed with you.”
All of Emerson’s fingers go still. “What was the context?”
“I was saying goodbye to her at the door, and she asked about you. She said…” I remember her face more than I remember the order of the words. “She and my father would have found a man, if I wanted one. She seemed to think I was hiding here with you. I told her she probably wouldn’t have approved of you, because of how close we are.”
He makes a sound that’s midway between a laugh and a scold. “You did not, little painter.”
“Fine. I said you were obsessed. I thought that would bother her.”
“And it didn’t.”
“No.” This is probably the roughest piece I’ve done in years. It’s all emotion spilled into color. All my technique is muscle memory. “Before that, at Leo’s reception, she said she was infatuated with my father. Not that she was in love with him.”
Emerson rubs his knuckles up and down my spine. “What did you think about that?”
“I thought I didn’t want it. I don’t want infatuation. It sounded so one-sided. And I don’t want the kind of marriage they have.”
“You want obsession.”
His tone is so carefully neutral that, if I wanted, I could react like he’s joking.
“Yes. That’s what I want. Obsession. You.” I follow the ridge of a wave on fire, connecting the two ideas on the canvas. “You don’t have to worry.”
“I’m not worried.”
I don’t believe him. I know he’s anxious. I saw it in his eyes this morning. I felt the time ticking down in his touch. But I don’t argue. The space between brush and canvas is warming to me. His hand on my back soothes all the out-of-place nerves.
“I don’t want to be like them.” Sunshine yellow. The color of dying embers. Red upon red. “I want to be like I am with you.”
