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Lizzie pops a spoonful of yogurt into her mouth and closes her eyes before she tells me, “I fucking love strawberry yogurt. How come we never bought this before?”
I smile at her goofiness, although it’s subdued. Seriously, it’s just yogurt. “Didn’t know you liked it.” Shifting slightly on the barstool, I debate on getting into such a heavy topic, but it’s too important not to. “Are you happy?”
Her bright eyes soften as she readjusts her stool and the legs drag on the floor. She puts her hand out on the table, palm up. I put my hand in hers and she squeezes in response. “Happier than I’ve ever been.” Her reassuring words make my whole body relax.
“Are you really pregnant?” I can’t fathom that in only days she knows she’s pregnant. She shrugs her shoulders and goes back to scraping the plastic cup with her spoon, trying to get out as much as possible.
“They said between the two of them, there’s no way they weren’t going to knock me up during this last heat.” She giggles into her cup, now licking the sides of it since the spoon isn’t effective enough. I shake my head and hop off my perch to grab her another from the fridge.
“You’re ready to be a mom?”
She smiles as she catches the new cup I toss at her. “I can’t fucking wait, Grace. Can you just imagine it? A little baby, cooing at us, snuggling into my arms.”
“They scream too, you know? And poop a lot.” She laughs at my blunt statement and nods her head.
“Yeah, I know. They have their moments. But it’s all worth it. All the late nights of them wanting to be held. When they’re gone, I’ll miss them. I may be irritated when they cry every time I put them down, but when they’re older, I’ll wish they’d let me hold them again.”
I vaguely wonder if focusing on a baby is a way for her to cope with how different our lives are now.I wonder if it’s all moving too fast. I worry for her, but I bite my tongue.
It’s not my place and I’ll stand with her through anything.
“It’s not abnormal, Grace,” Lizzie says softly, as if she knows exactly what I’m thinking. “When mates meet and the heat happens … this is what is expected.”
She offers me a small smile as she pats my hand. “I’ve always wanted to be a mom, and I love my mates, truly. Both of them. Even if it’s all too fast and there’s so much to learn. When I was little, this was my happily ever after. Before … everything else. This was all I wanted.”
Her doe eyes brim with tears and I wrap my arms around her in concern. “Fuck, I’m so damn hormonal, Grace.” She lets out a sad laugh while tears slip down her cheeks. Wiping them away, she pulls back to tell me, “I don’t just want a little baby; I want a family.” She leans back farther, dropping her spoon and unopened yogurt into her lap. “Ihavea family.”
“You do,” I whisper, only just now realizing what she must be feeling. Reconciling her past and present, accepting love, and finally knowing she’s safe. They’ll protect her from everything.
“They love me so much and I love them too.”
“Damn, girl,” I joke to lighten the mood as she attempts to gather her composure, “you’re definitely pregnant. All emotional.” She laughs and pulls her legs into her chest, wiping her eyes.
“I hope I am.” Her happiness makes me question my decision to wait. The way she’s come round to them makes me wonder if I should do the same with Devin.
The thought of Lizzie holding a baby suddenly sends all sorts of emotions shooting through me, jealousy being the most prominent. It catches me off guard. I’m not a jealous person, and especially not of Lizzie. I want her to have happiness. It’s quiet for a moment as I stand up, wanting to shake all of this off.
I shuffle to the fridge to find something to eat while I question my feelings. “What do you think it’ll be like?”
“Having a baby?” Her eyes catch mine briefly before I look into the freezer.
“Yeah.”
“Heaven. Well, sometimes heaven, sometimes hell. But it’s all a phase and it will be worth the hard times.”
“It’s so much responsibility, so life changing.” I snort at my own words. Everything has been sofucking life changing. It seems like every day there’s something new, yet Devin is unaffected. Is this world of chaos and danger my normal now?
“It is, but I’ve always wanted a big family.”
“Really?” Surprise coats the single word. “I never knew that.”
She nods as I shut the fridge, a package of yogurt in my hand. She says, “I never really talked about it. It’s not like I’d ever let a guy near me so …” She breathes deep before tossing the cup at the trash can and missing. “Crap.” Getting up, she walks over to clean up her mess.
“Is that why?” I question as I lean against the counter.
“Why what?”
“Why you never dated anyone?” I feel like a shit friend for not knowing any of this before. She’s always been flirtatious but that’s as far as things went. To be honest, none of the guys we would hang around with ever seemed like they were good enough for her, so I never questioned her not getting serious with anyone.
