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“Explain.” The single word falls hard between us. I hope she can sense my disappointment and the agony at being kept in the dark. She’s up to something, something of grave proportions. If she’s hurtingand planning revenge, she should’ve told me. Why wouldn’t my own mate confide in me?
“I don’t want this anymore.” Her chest rises and falls with the admission, pain laced in her tone.
What the fuck?My heart sinks at her words. A spiked lump forms in my throat. She doesn’t want me anymore? If she thinks she can run from me, she’s dead fucking wrong. I’ll always find her and bring her back to me.
“What have I done that makes you want to leave me?” Her head tilts and confusion is easily read on her face.
A beat passes and a hard lump grows in my throat.
“Why would I want to leave you?” Her softly spoken question instantly eases my body and I struggle to hide the fact that I’m fucking crumbling on the inside.
“You said you don’t want this anymore?” I need her to clarify her words, and I fucking hope it’s something I can handle. Because this shit is fucked beyond recognition and I’m failing to see what the hell is going on.
“I—” Her eyes look around the room as if searching for an answer I’ll find acceptable.
I move into her space and growl out the words, “Answer me.”
She stares straight into my eyes as she speaks, “I don’t want to be immortal. I can’t live when you die. I don’t want to. I don’t want this. A life without you isn’t one worth living.”
I stare into her dark eyes as my heart clenches in agony. My poor mate. Taking her head in my hands, I kiss her plump lips and lick across the seam for her to part for me. My tongue rubs along her bottom lip and caresses hers, while I allow the pain to subside and find the words to give her peace.
What do I know of immortality and how she’s feeling? I know I would want to die if she was taken from me. I wouldn’t want to go on without her. But my mate is strong and is destined to live once I’ve been buried in the dirt. I would never wish her to be in pain, but to want her to give up her immortality? Never.
I part from her and miss the warmth immediately. “What about our children? You’re blessed to be able to care for them and watch them grow once I’m gone. You’ll have peace loving them when I can’t.”
Tears fall from her eyes. “I don’t know that I can ever give you pups, Vince.” She sniffs and turns herback to me to take a tissue from the package on the desk. How did I not know this? How have I let myself be so blind to the cost of her immortality.
“You think this poison will give you that ability?”
“I don’t know, but it’s worth it to try if it can.”
My head spins. How could she be so reckless? “But we haven’t even tried without resorting to something like this. Something that could destroy you!”
She lifts her chin and defiantly tells me, “I will give it all up to be the mate you deserve!”
“You are the mate I deserve, Veronica. You’re more than that.” I push her against the wall and cage her in with my body. She moves easily, not resisting in the least. “Tell me you haven’t taken the drug. Please tell me you haven’t.”
Her shoulders shake with her sobs and then she says, “Only a little.” I feel my heart fall and the crushing weight of guilt push through my limbs.
“Veronica.” I place a hand on her neck and kiss my mark on the other side. “Don’t. Don’t do this. I love you just the way you are. I don’t want this. I just want you.”
“But I want to give you more. I want to be more for you.” My head shakes at her words.
“How can you think so little of yourself? You’reperfect in every way.” I kiss her forehead as tears slip down my cheeks. “I’ve failed you as a mate.” Her hands shove against my chest.
“Don’t you dare say that; you’ve shown me glimpses of the kind of life that is possible without the burden of immortality. You’ve given me hope and desire for more. How could you think you’ve failed me?”
“You’re drugging yourself to be something you’re not!” She cowers from my words and the sinking feeling of defeat races through me. “Promise me you won’t take any more.” She refuses to look at me and sobs harder. “Promise me, Veronica.” She slowly shakes her head, but I’m not going to accept that. There has to be another way.
“Just wait for me, then.” Her eyes finally find mine at my desperate words. “We can try without it. We can wait until the Authority is done with their testing.” I pull her into my arms and let her head rest against my shoulder. I stroke her back and settle some as her breathing relaxes. “We can try without it.” I kiss her hair, inhaling the sweet floral scent of jasmine and add, “We have time to wait.”
“I’ll wait.” She whispers the words.
“Promise me. Promise me you’ll tell me if you think about it again.”
“I will, I promise.”
I kiss her hair again. “We can try without it. I will give you everything you need. I promise you, my love.” She sniffles and kisses the crook of my neck. The feel of her soft lips against my skin brings a warmth to my chilled blood. “I love you, Veronica.”
“I will love you forever, Vince.”
This saga is far from over. There are many moving pieces and other love stories to be told while fate unravels what's to come.
